creative4seasons

Jumping Through Hoops, Hoops and More Hoops

2009-02-27T20:28:00.003-05:00

The wait is over. At long last I know where I will be spending the next thirteen weeks and where I will be working. And not a moment too soon, I might add! The current contract is over at the end of the work day on Saturday, February 28th. That's right! Tomorrow!

It was not until this morning that I got the "all clear" with respect to a new contract. The outcome? I am staying here in Kingsport. I will be working another 13 weeks at the med center - on the unit I've been assigned to for the past six months. I am thrilled but I am also drained.

The "stuff" that went on over the past ten days or so has been incredibly exhausting. It started way before that ten days ago mark - as you, my friends and family readers, well know. I have been waiting for almost a month to get an answer from "the powers-that-be" regarding the possibility of an extension. Then, ten days ago, I was first told that I could extend my contract. Only to be told an hour or two later that while I could extend, I could only do so if I changed travel nursing companies or went to work for the hospital's staffing agency.

I've been with the same company for almost three years now. My recruiter has become a good friend and wonderful support in this travel RN business. But, the sad truth is that the company apparently could not compete with the larger mega-companies with respect to rates. It always comes down to the dollars and cents of the matter... that's CENTS not SENSE, mind you.

Instead of allowing me to stay on with the same company since I'm already in the building and have proven myself to be a worthy employee, I was given options that meant time, energy and money expended to recreate the necessary employee files, etc that are already in place there.... But, alas, it's about the cents not about what makes sense.

After a lot of heart-wrenching hours and even more soul-searching... and in light of the fact that the company I've been working for only has contracts in the northwest regions of the country right now, I had to give in to the med center's demands to change companies.

So, for the past ten days, I've been re-doing paperwork, drug screens, skills checklists, etc. I've been in jeopardy of having to move from the apartment I'm in but not knowing for certain if it will come to pass or not... Not wanting to use my days off to pack if it isn't necessary but at the same time not wanting to wait til the last minute to pack if it does become necessary, I've spent many sleepless nights and anxious days trying to get a straight answer from the housing agency. At last, yesterday I was told that I can stay where I am afterall.

I am thrilled to be staying here in Tennessee, to continue to work where I wanted to be, and to stay in the apartment I've lived in for the past several months. But for the next few days, as I begin the new contract under a new travel company, I will have to just work my three-in-a-row twelve hour shifts and hope that when next week's days off arrive, I can at last breathe a sigh of relief and take a break!

Playing the Waiting Game

2009-02-18T21:14:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not play "the waiting game" very well. It isn't easy sitting back and waiting for others to put their ducks in a row so that you can do the same with yours! And when your ducks are your life and livelihood, it is quite frustrating to see the hours tick off the clock, the calendar pages fly by and the silence grow ever louder.

That is were I've been for the past few days: Trying to get answers from the powers that be as to whether I will be allowed to stay on here in TN or will need to move elsewhere. With less than two weeks left to my present contract (it ends February 28th) I am about ten days past nervous!

The negotiations continue. The contract extension has been offered and then rescinded, offered again and then given a particular stipulation that would be a deal maker or breaker. And then more negotiations. In this current economy, even health care jobs are becoming more difficult to secure. Hospitals, like families, are taking a good hard look at their budgets and trying to find ways to tighten their purse strings. There is still a nursing shortage but it appears as though facilities are opting to work the nurses that they have in their employ more and hire fewer into previously listed job openings.

This is just a phase, I know -- healthcare standards are, for the most part, set by the guidelines that drive Medicare reimbursements. Such guidelines are difficult to adhere to without adequate staffing to ensure quality patient outcomes. In the meantime, those of us who are working at the bedside persist in giving the best care that we can give to those who depend on us. Working short-staffed is frustrating to those of us who only know how to give 110% each and every shift. But I, for one, cannot allow it to change the way I practice my profession.

And so, with only four more twelve hour shifts left to this current contract, I enter into that gray area of not knowing... not knowing where I will be living come March 1st, where I will be working (or if I will be working) come March 1st, what my next assignment will entail. This is the down side of the travel nurse role. Each time the situation presents itself, I have to ask myself if I am really cut out for it. I know that I am cut out for the role of a flexible nurse who can jump in and do her job in almost any setting. What I don't know is if I can live with the uncertainty that the deadlines and contract end dates present.

I know that everything will work out -- eventually. It always does. There is always a Plan B and even a Plan C in the event that my first choice doesn't materialize. But, I'm forever reluctant to adopt B or C if A might still be a possibility. By this time next week, I will know what the future (at least the immediate future) holds but in the meantime, I am trying to learn to be a better player in this waiting game!

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

2009-02-11T18:54:00.012-05:00

Okay... while I can't give anyone a blow-by-blow account of what I did with the days, weeks and months that have passed between those 2007 posts and now, I can let my readers know what I am up to at this point in time... Because, afterall, some of you have inquiring minds - and inquiring minds want to know! Right?

Life is never dull - or so it seems. Sometimes I'd give anything for a few days of "dull" I think. But... dull doesn't happen around here.

I've had a thirteen week travel assignment in Williamsport, PA - in the middle of the winter of '08. What was I thinking by going that far north when the snow and temperatures are bound to be issues for someone who has lived more than half her life in southwest Florida?? !! But, I survived it and happily returned to what really feels like home to me now - northeast Tennessee - in May of '08. Since that time, I have had three thirteen week contracts in Johnson City, TN. The third (and current)one is due to end on February 28. And, while I have requested an extension, no decision has been made by the med center. So, I wait to see where I will spend the next three months. I recently mentioned to a friend that I may well be a nomad come March. She was quick to point out that on the up side of being a nomad, it makes for great fodder for future writing projects!

The time in Williamsport, PA allowed me to spend alot of quality time with my parents and my sister and her family. While there, I helped Daddy celebrate his 80th birthday. That was an especially treasured opportunity. All of the harsh winter weather issues vanished when spending days off with my family.

Back in northeast TN, I've been able to reunite with my knitting friends at Yarntiques. www.yarntiques.com And, of course, I've had that all important (and special) time with my grandson, Caleb. These are just a few of the reasons I'm really hoping that the current contract will be granted an extension.

Kitties Maggie and Callee continue to travel with me - Maggie travels much more gracefully than Callee; but they both go where I go.

The Florida contingent of the Ambrose family still keeps house and family run business going there. Despite the fact that there have been conversations about pulling up roots and relocating, there isn't much activity toward that end at this point. Hubby-dearest, Tim (aka "Lovie") visits occasionally and always delights in the pleasant and more moderate weather - but, being Florida born and raised, I'm fairly certain he'll never totally leave it behind.

And, as long as Tim and the family business are there, Mandy and her family will be there as well since my son-in-law works the family business with Tim.

When I am not working my twelve hour shifts, I can often be found at the knitting table sharing the friendship of women who enjoy the art of knitting at least as much as I do. Knitting and reading and writing continue to be my favorite pasttimes.

And, speaking of writing, I continue to be very active in the Story Circle Network. www.storycircle.org My role of Internet Chapter President keeps my busy - but it doesn't end with that. I love my writing circles (prose and poetry) and have found an especially rewarding calling in the work of writing weekly writing prompts for our SCN Internet Chapter members. These prompts are based on quotes by women - some familiar and some not so. Searching for the right quote and being on alert for some surprises along the way has become a daily practice. The "work" (but I wouldn't call it that because it is too much fun to be work) of creating these weekly prompts has led to another SCN sponsored activity -- being a contributor to the TellingHerStories Blog. So, if you have some time on your hands, why not jump on over to that blog spot and check out the entries by many of our SCN members. I think you'll be amazed at the quality and variety that lives there. You can find it here: http://storycircle.typepad.com/scn/ .

Now that you've had the "Cliff Notes version" of the past many months, it's time to begin looking forward... So, until the next post, I hope that your inquiring minds are at least partially satisfied now that you know where I've been and what I've been up to during my absence from creative4seasons.

HerStories Memoir Challenge

2009-02-10T21:21:00.006-05:00

Have you heard about the HerStories Memoir Challenge? Anyone who knows me knows that I am passionate about Story Circle Network. The HerStories Memoir Challenge is a new and exciting facet to Story Circle Network's many opportunities.

It's simple, really.... read 4 memoirs in the first 4 months of 2009, post a 4 sentence review to the challenge site... be entered to win prizes! (and join a growing network of women in the process.)

Now, granted, it is mid-February and I am just getting the word out to those of you who are not on the SCN mailing list already. But there's still time! To learn more about the challenge and how you can join in the fun, go to http://storycircle.typepad.com/challenge .

And for the record, here are the four memoirs I am reading and reviewing for the challenge:

Growing Up Amish: Insider Secrets from One Woman's Inspirational Journey by Anna Dee Olson

The Daily Coyote: A Story of Love, Survival, and Trust in the Wilds of Wyoming by Shreve Stockton

The Two Kinds of Decay a memoir

by Sarah Manguso

Stretching Lessons: The Daring that Starts from Within

by Sue Bender

(of course we ARE only half way through this challenge period so my reading / reviewing selections are subject to change at any given time)

What four memoirs are you going to read between now and the end of April '09?

Hello Old Friend, Hello

2009-02-10T20:57:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure what caused me to choose tonight as the time to return to creative4seasons. I mean, it's been AGES since I've posted anything here! There have been times over the past many monnths that I've chastised myself for not keeping up with it. There have been other times when I've wondered just what it would take for me to pick it back up again.

I knew that it had been a long time since I'd last made an entry on this blog site. I actually had almost convinced myself that it had been so long that I wouldn't be able to access it myself! But, with a click or two on the keyboard, here I am! I've taken a stroll through the blog posts that chronicle a very important touch point in my life -- the days and weeks surrounding my decision to leave Florida and move to Tennessee.

As I gaze at the aesthetics of this blog I find myself thinking that there is much work to be done to bring it -- and you, dear readers, up to speed with where I am now... Oh, I'm still in Tennessee but I've been here and there and back again since I last made a post. Life has done its many ups and downs without so much as one single blog post. But that just means that there is much to tell here in the days and weeks to come.

And, so, to creative4seasons the blog, "hello old friend, hello." And to you my readers, an even bigger "hello dear friends, hello." I hope that you will once again place my blog on your list to watch. And, I hope that this time I will not disappoint you by disappearing into thin air one day and staying gone for one heck of a long time!

During the next few days, I hope to give the blog a facelift. So be sure to check back for new entries and a whole new look! I look forward to seeing your footprints all over my blog in the days, weeks and months to come.

Lee

Knit one, purl one...

2007-08-13T16:55:00.000-04:00

It all started a few weeks ago when I realized I was missing the feel of fabric and the whir of the sewing machine. I was longing to quilt but knew that, as a travel RN, it is next to impossible for me to drag my sewing machine with me. Perhaps one day Santa or the Tooth Fairy or some such individual will gift me with a nice light-weight portable machine that is capable of quilting but for now, my machine is old and heavy and impossible to move every 13 week contract.

For a few days I moped around feeling sorry for my creative self. Sorry that I wasn't in the same location as my machine. Sorry that I wanted to be handling fabric or doing something that was not strictly word related. (Don't get me wrong, words are still my passion and I love to read and write but there is another side of me that has to FEEL the process in a tangible sort of way sometimes.) Then, that small inner voice that sometimes goes unnoticed started whispering in my ear. She reminded me that a friend (and sister Story Circle member) had once said that I could probably find a knitting shop and classes here in the Johnson City TN area. Armed with a new plan for tactile creative fulfillment, I did a wee bit of research and found Yarntiques ( http://yarntiques.com/) and the rest is history!

Owner Candace Powell Baldwin is a patient soul who knows just the right way to fix a mistake or bolster a sagging knitter confidence level. The shop is a warm and welcoming old Victorian home in downtown Johnson City. Just stepping in the front door is a treat! Spending time with Candace and the women who frequent the shop is an incomparable delight!!

I recently told that same Story Circle friend who had suggested the knitting classes before that being in the Yarntiques shop with those women is akin to writing in the writing circle. There is a bond that forms easily and naturally. There are common experiences and interests and there are unique qualities but all blend together with ease. In two short weeks I have come to feel like part of the group instead of an outsider or a newcomer. It's a comfortable feeling. And it was just what I needed to whisk away those frustrations over not being able to quilt or do something otherwise creative with my hands. And what great (and cheap) therapy a session around the knit table can be!!

A self-taught knitter who never ventured outside the very safe realm of scarves and baby blankets (no shaping or fancy stitches required) I really didn't know if I had it in me to make anything more than those straight edged items. But in the past two weeks, Candace has proven to me that I can and will be able to do anything I choose! My first project is a light-weight sleeveless sweater that I will likely finish this week and can still wear this season. The second project - a sweater coat of sorts - is underway and will come in handy in a short while when the cool autumn breezes blow through here. I drool over the yummy yarn we (Candace and I) have chosen for it.

So now when I don't get back to the blog for days or weeks on end, it may be because of a work schedule that doesn't allow much time for such things as writing. But more likely it is because some new knitting project has grabbed me and just won't let go!

Temporarily Grounded

2007-08-13T16:19:00.000-04:00

Last week I fell and broke my foot! And for those who know me, it comes as no surprise that I am greatly put out that I am temporarily grounded - no hill climbing, hiking, exploring wooded areas... Can you hear the huge sigh that accompanies that statement? The only saving graces here are that (a) this happens to be the most hot and humid time of year here so it isn't as pleasant outside as it usually is and (b) I have plenty of books to read, yarn to knit and stories to write so boredom isn't inevitable.

I am still working my twelve hour shifts at the hospital. Don't get me wrong, it would be better if I didn't but there is this little thing called health insurance that is only available if one works her contracted hours...so... Need I say more?

I fell Thursday and promptly turned around and worked three twelve hour shifts in a row (OUCH!) on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Today I am off and have given in to the desire to do "as little as possible." My tecnicolor foot has been elevated much of the day. (I joked with my dad earlier today that at least the foot is in my favorite colors -- varying shades of blues and greens and purples) And while staying off of the foot, I've managed to do a fair amount of writing plus a bit of reading, watched a video and soon I plan to pick up the knitting needles.

I knew that I had to do the other things before the knitting needles came out of the bag because once they are in hand all else goes by the wayside! With the rest of the afternooon and evening ahead of me, I should have plenty of time to work on finishing one project and logging (um, knitting) some time on a second project. It's truly addictive, that sound of knitting needles and the feel of the fibers between your fingers. Maybe being temporarily grounded isn't such a bad thing afterall.

A Boy and His PopPop

2007-07-25T19:11:00.000-04:00

Earlier this month two of the important "men" in my life visited here in Johnson City, TN. I picked Caleb up earlier in the day so that we could have some special one-on-one "Caleb and Nan" time before going to Tri-Cities Airport to pick up Tim (aka PopPop).

Caleb and Tim hadn't seen one another since winter so they were both excited to be reunited. This photo is completely candid and I was delighted that I was able to capture it before someone moved out of the viewfinder.

They enjoyed being "guys" together -- cracking jokes, being silly, hiking, swimming, watching tv ... typical guy stuff. It warmed my heart to see them enjoying one another so much. But, what I wasn't prepared for was the intense competition between the two of them -- each one competing for my attention and getting more than a little jealous of the time and attention spent on the other one. Suddenly, my men were "boys" in the truest sense of the word.

In The Red Tent by Anita Diamant the main character, Dinah, speaks of the turmoil within her when she realizes that she is struggling to deal with "a mother's divided heart". While it has been quite some time since I read that wonderful book, that scene had a powerful and lasting impact on me. It expresses so well what I have felt time and time again when raising my own children. And now, this month, I again faced it when having to deal with a husband and a grandson who each felt that they, and they alone, should be granted my full and undivided attention.

It was great fun to see Tim and Caleb together (even if it was stressful and not so much fun to be the center of their rivalry) so I prefer to think back on the visit with images such as these... proof that they did have a good time - even if they had to share me!

Roan Mountain

2007-06-24T18:02:00.000-04:00

Roan Mountain is not one single mountain but a high ridge about 5 miles long.
At the mountain top(Roan High Knob) one stands 6,285 feet high.
And that, my friends, is exactly where I stood yesterday! Closer to the sky than I have ever been with my feet firmly on the ground. It is a totally awesome view from the top of the mountain.

Roan Mountain, which is part of the Pisgah and the Cherokee National Forests, holds quite a rich history of its own. In the late 1800's General John T Wilder bought 7,000 acres along the top and sides of the mountain. Here he built a 20 room log inn near the summit of Roan High Knob. The log inn was eventually replaced by Cloudland Hotel which reportedly was quite luxurious for its time. The hotel operated for about 20 years but today there is next to no evidence that it even existed high atop this mountain. A marker at the spot of the once grand hotel asks passersby to 'try to imagine' ... I can't begin to imagine... What a vacation wonderland that would have been. No amusement rides necessary. Just cold springs, cool higher elevation temperatures, flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the area and the peaceful beauty of Mother Nature at each glance.

At one point the Appalachian Trail crosses Roan Mountain. I encountered a couple of diligent Appalachian Trail hikers as they made their way south just as I was snapping this picture of the trail marker. They, I'm sure were taking in Mother Nature's wonder in their own chosen way but it seemed a shame to me that they hurried by at a rather quick pace. Maybe those who hike the trail do not need to stop and savor each and every moment like I do. Maybe they are so immersed in it that it becomes a part of them just naturally. For me, I need to stop and smell the proverbial roses every few steps along the way.

But, yesterday, it wasn't the smell of roses that wafted in the air. It was the scent of pine needles. Sun shining down through the canopy of trees created a dappled path underfoot. The buzzing of bees was LOUD! I mean really, really loud! It took me back to my childhood when a neighbor had bee hives. You could hear those honeybees buzzing for half a block away. But this was even louder than I remembered those bees sounding. I looked everywhere but saw none of the noisemakers. But I knew that they were nearby. There was no denying it.

Around a bend on the path at the top of Roan Mountain, I was greeted with a glorious sight. Rhododendrons (Rhododendron catawbiense to be exact) were in bloom everywhere I looked. I have never encountered such a natural garden in the middle of what I otherwise would call a forest. It was indescribable - overwhelming - amazing and it very much touched me to my core. I stood in awe of the blooms - hundreds of thousands of them - and soon realized that here was the location of those buzzing bees! Bumblebees!! Hundreds of thousands of them too, I am sure! On nearly every bloom that I could see there were at least one or two - sometimes three as in this shot. They were all very polite - each one claiming a spot but never trying to step into the other's. Their social skills are quite advanced I've decided. I watched the bumblebees for at least as long as I gazed at the incredible beauty of the flowers. Time stands still for me when I am in the midst of Mother Nature.

As I drove down narrow road leading off the mountain, I couldn't help but think that this place was definitely a creative's sanctuary. And, I made a vow to myself to return often - with pen and paper, or laptop, or recorder in hand -- and definitely with digicam -- so that I may soak up the beauty and wonder of the area and capture it in photos and in words. In these ways I hope to preserve my magical time on Roan Mountain long after my own memory fails me.

Appalachian Quilt Trail

2007-06-24T15:37:00.001-04:00

Here in Northeastern Tennessee, there is a bit of history and creativity that is free for the viewing... The Appalachian Quilt Trail. Historic buildings (many of them old barns but there are a few general stores and covered bridges as well) proudly stand along roadsides in several of the surrounding counties adorned with painted images of old quilt patterns.

Now, I am an early American history buff. And, I love quilts! I have taken some very elementary quilting classes and have a whole closet full of materials that have been carefully coordinated for various quilting projects for one of these days when I get "round to it".... And, I love to explore the area each time I get a new job assignment.

So, add all of the above together and you have an outing (or in this case, quite a few outings) in the making.

Since the quilts are on private property and oft times along busy highways, it is not something one can do without time, patience and a sense of wonder.

There are over fifty quilts displayed on these old barns here in the five county region. I plan to make it my business to visit each and every one of them - and photograph them - before I leave this beautiful area of Northeast Tennessee.

Can it possibly be two months since last I posted?

2007-06-24T14:37:00.000-04:00

Two months since the last post? !!! How can that be? I mean, seriously, I just took a "little break" and I was coming right back! Well...um... it appears as though a little break turned into a huge break -- and that is neither good for the writer nor the reader!

It is amazing to me that the momentum of posting can come to a screeching halt and all of a sudden I am weeks behind myself wondering how on earth I will ever catch up. I guess that the reality is that once I get so out of the routine, there is no catching up but there is always moving forward. And moving forward is exactly what I am planning to do here.

A lot has happened in the two months between my dandelion post and this one...
Perhaps the most important event was securing a 13 week contract in Johnson City TN at Johnson City Medical Center...which entailed a new job and a move to a new apartment in a matter of three days mid-May.

This new job has none of the trappings of the old job and all of the pleasure of what I have come to call a "dream assignment" - really! There is no such thing as mandatory overtime. The unit is well run and well staffed. The patient:nurse ratio is quite acceptable. There is not one thing I find difficult or discouraging about this assignment. And to think I could have been here several months ago instead of putting in my time in a place where the norm was four or five twelve hour shifts.

I actually have a life of my own outside of work now! And, the real plus is that I still have a reasonably close proximity to Caleb. My present location is only about 20 minutes east of the previous one so it is basically the same distance for me to go get or see Caleb.

And, of course, having Caleb time is a top priority - always!

Another "event" was that hubby dearest, Tim, was here for a week in May and has scheduled a flight for right after the July 4th holiday to come spend another week. After not being here from January to May it is nice to think that I'll actually get to see him in a relatively short space of time.

Altered art work, writing (of various sorts), Story Circle Network duties and delights, reading and my two sweet kitties continue to occupy my free time. And, with this present job there really and truly is free time. I remember for so many years saying "In my free time that I have none of" but now there IS that wonderful luxury and I am basking in it, believe you me! The one thing I neglected to put on the list of things to enjoy in that free time was this: to enjoy adding new posts to my blog! Neglected to do until today that is...

So, after what seems like a brief respite but in actuality has been far too long a break in blogging, I am back...
And as you will see in the next couple of posts, I am busy using my time off to explore and enjoy my new location.

Note to Readers

2007-04-16T16:23:00.000-04:00

Dear Readers
For whatever reason, the dandelion post would NOT allow me to format it properly - even through multiple edit attempts. So I apologize for the lack of paragraphs and spacing. Heaven knows that I tried to make it more readable. Perhaps tomorrow it will let me reformat it on yet one more edit?

First Dandelion

2007-04-16T15:46:00.000-04:00

The First Dandelion

Simple and fresh and fair from winter's close emerging,

As if no artifice of fashion, business, politics, had ever been,

Forth from its sunny nook of shelter'd grass--innocent, golden, calm as the dawn,

The spring's first dandelion shows its trustful face.

Source: "Leaves of Grass," by Walt Whitman

One day it feels like spring... the next day it's near freezing - complete with sleet and snow. Mother Nature is just reminding us that She is in control! It's mid-April and the flowers that bloomed in March have either been destroyed by extremes in temperature or have retreated. The winter clothes that I was ever so anxious to pack away have been pulled back out for a few more weeks. Guess Mother Nature wanted to just tempt us with those spring-like days a few weeks ago. But now She realizes She is not willing to kiss winter goodbye - not quite yet at least

But, I have no doubt that spring will soon be here in all of its glory! The robins are chirping and flitting all about. The squirrels scamper, chasing one another from tree to tree. Green seems to be the more predominant color even though there are still many trees that are brown and barren. And, the dandelions are starting to pop out of the ground everywhere I look! The other day, I noticed several of them along the road - some were ready for the wind to carry away the wishes made on soft tufts of white. Most, however were still bright, cheery and yellow. ( I spied the one in the picture above while out feeding the squirrels and birds this morning. )

Many a bouquet of the yellow blooms were picked and lovingly presented to Mom when I was young. Little did I know that they were weeds. And, Mom would never let on that she knew either. She'd smile and say "thankyou" while putting water in a small glass and placing the bouquet in plain view.

Many sunny and warm afternoons were spent lazing in the grass and pulling the stems topped with fluffy white down - just to make a wish and blow it away on the springtime breezes. As a child I never once wondered if those dreams would come true. I never considered where those dreams on downy fluff would land. And I certainly never realized that I was helping to plant more weeds! I believed that they were flowers equally beautiful as the roses and peonies that would bloom later in the season. I believed that wishes did come true and that all I had to do was wish hard enough, blow strong enough and wait ... and my dreams would be realized.

Perhaps the dandelion holds an important message for all of us. Perhaps one of its important roles is to teach us (the adult version of us) that even weeds have their beauty and their positive natures. Perhaps they were designed as a reminder that even weeds can be a welcome sign that spring is on its way and surely winter will pass.

Easter Snow!

2007-04-07T11:20:00.000-04:00

For a week or so it has been gloriously spring-like! Warm gentle breezes. Moderate temperatures. And flowers blooming everywhere you look. But, Mother Nature can't let winter slide out the back door quite yet. And so, overnight last night, She left something in the grass -- not Easter eggs like the children of the neighborhood expected to find in the grass this morning (the annual Easter Egg Hunt was scheduled for bright and early today).

This isn't the first time that I've had snow for Easter. Probably won't be the last either. But that doesn't keep me from being amazed at how fickle Mother Nature can be sometimes. Two days ago, Caleb and I were playing golf in the warmth of a springtime afternoon. Today I am bundling up with scarf and gloves and arming myself with a snow scraper for the windshield. It's a wonderful and ever changing world!

Whether your Easter weekend finds you making snowballs, hunting for eggs or - as my granddaughter KelseyRose is doing down in Florida - going to the beach

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!

Crocs in Sevierville ??

2007-04-07T10:29:00.000-04:00

A long holiday weekend with few to no detailed plans can prove to be a great thing - or a disappointment. It's all in how you approach each day, I suppose. Many weeks ago, I arranged to have a five day weekend over Easter. I thought that hubby -dearest would come up from Florida. But I thought wrong. "Too much to do" was the old, tired, familiar refrain.

I also thought that I'd be able to have Caleb for a few of those five days. He'd be on spring break and we'd be able to do a sleep-over at Nan's house and a few fun things. Right? Wrong!

He is on spring break. That is true. We cannot do a sleep-over at Nan's though. So, with not one but two huge disappointments to kick off my long weekend, I wondered "what's a gal to do with a five day weekend?"

Even though I wasn't able to have Caleb for any overnights (His dad and step-mom had plans for every single day that I was off and available - plans that included Caleb and that he reportedly couldn't miss) I did manage to arrange an afternoon with him. So, on Thursday I headed down the mountain highways - Smoky Mountain bound... The road from Kingsport to Sevierville is mostly ribbons of winding road cut through centuries-old mountain ranges. The scenery is beautiful any time of year. But it was especially delightful on this beautiful spring day. Trees in shades of pink and purple sprouted from crevices in the mountains. An amazing sight to behold indeed. Blue skies and puffy clouds seem bluer and higher when driving on these roads. And I find myself contemplating the fact that I can see for miles and miles - and that the mountain ranges go on for even more miles than that.

And so, shortly before lunchtime I arrived in Sevierville and picked up my "date" - a total prince of a guy. Charming in every way with a smile that can melt my heart in an instant and sparkling blue eyes that reflect the joy that is Caleb.

"What would you like to do?" I ask.

"Mmmmmm - go to TGIFriday's for lunch?" He asks more than tells - in the cute way only a six year old can do.

So, off to TGIFriday's we go. I already know what he'll order but he is quick to remind me that this is the place that has his favorite dessert - " A Cup of Dirt" - chocolate pudding with crumbled oreo cookies and gummy worms.

"M-m-m-m good, " he says -- and if he says so, then I guess it must be true!

It is such a glorious spring day that I want to find something to do outside after lunch. And Caleb knows just the perfect activity for a springtime date with Nan - "Let's go golfing, Nan!" he announces.

Now, wildlife in the mountains of Tennessee is unique but I don't believe that crocodiles are among the creatures that are indiginous to this area. But, along the main road of Sevierville/Pigeon Forge you can go crocodile hunting - in Crocodile Lagoon and along Crocodile Lake ... if you're inclined to enjoy an afternoon of hitting a colorful little ball with a stick.

Caleb loved every minute of the 18 holes of mini-golf. I loved every minute of my time with Caleb. Watching him delight in the small things brings such joy. His smile is contagious. His laughter fills my heart to overflowing. And his energy is never ending... it sparks me on despite the fact that I worked two fifteen hour days before today (NOT by choice, I can assure you!)

Along the mini-golf course, we were greeted by all nature of 'critters' -- not the mountain critters that I would expect to find here (you know - bears and mountain lions and such) Instead, the golf course is sunny and bright. It is decorated with huge shade trees, huts, and wild animals: elephants, giraffes, hippos and of course the crocodiles for which the lagoon and lake courses are named. The family who played ahead of us was nice enough to ask if they could snap a picture of us together (instead of me taking pictures of only Caleb). It warmed my heart more than the bright afternoon sun that they would do that. And, while I am not necessarily fond of having my picture taken, I realize that these days are fleeting -- Caleb is growing up so fast. My time with him is precious indeed. My time with him - no matter whether we are doing something special or nothing in particular - is all forever etched in my memory. On days when I long to be with him and cannot, I rely on those images to carry me through. But to have an occasional tangible image of us is a treat! For so much of his life, it was just Caleb and me --no one around to snap a picture of the two of us. The joy that this image of us on the silly crocodile brings me is huge! I treasure every opportunity to savor Caleb-time. And so, until I am allowed to have more Caleb-time on some future day off, I will look at Caleb and the Crocs and remember that, although it wasn't an overnight or a chunk of my five day weekend, the time he and I shared was special indeed.

Nature's Playground

2007-03-25T21:03:00.000-04:00

I wanted to sleep in this morning. It's a rare treat to do that! But, I have some mischievous critters who live in my back yard who didn't think that sleeping in was an option. SQUIRRELS! There is a family of about six or seven of the little rodents who are so adorable that it is difficult to be upset with them.

Because the weather has been so nice and because I love fresh air (as opposed to air conditioning) I have had the windows open round the clock. Turning over early this morning, my sleepy self was aware that the sun had come up and that the birds were chirping. But I thought I could get another hour of sleep...

And I did manage to drift back to sleep but not for long! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

"What on earth...?" I wondered.

CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

Again I wondered about the strange sound - an almost rhythmic sound - that was wafting in the window.

My curiosity got the better of me. Besides, I was now wide awake and all hopes of sleeping in this morning were gone. After setting the coffee pot to brew, I opened the sliders which look out onto the back yard only to discover that the clanking noise was the sound of squirrels enjoying a picnic in nature's playground.

Last fall I had placed a squirrel feeder on a distant tree and on another tree, I hung a cob holder. All winter long I have diligently kept the feeder and the cob holder well stocked. Now that spring is here, I continue to feed the squirrels so that they do not venture up to the porch and scare away the birds who find their dining pleasure near the back door.

(here's a picture of Caleb feeding the squirrels on a visit a few weeks ago)

Squirrels are solitary diners. Apparently they do not enjoy the company of others or squirrel-conversation while dining. But this family of squirrels manage to be playful and polite -- all the while being quite entertaining for me (and my kitties Callee and Maggie).

At first glance, there were no squirrels in sight... and the source of the clank was nowhere to be seen. But, after a few minutes of gazing out into the yard, slowly and deliberately the lid of the feeder opened and out popped the head of one of the squirrels. He leaned over the edge, the lower half of his body still in the feeder. With his little paws out over the edge he proceeded to remove the shell from a peanut and lean into his paws to pop it into his mouth. After a few quick chews he disappeared back into the feeder and the lid clanked shut.

(these squirrels are a bit camera shy so the pictures are taken through the slider screen and hence a bit grainy but if you look closely you can see him right there in the middle of the feeder with the lid resting on his head)

This went on for a few minutes. Then, in a playful game of "gotcha" two of the squirrel brothers decided that this one had had enough and it was their turn! One scurried up the tree and approached from the right side of the feeder while the other scrambled down the left side of the tree from a branch above. As the two headed directly toward the feeder, their hungry brother popped his head out of the feeder as he had done so many times before. But, upon seeing the other two, he bolted out and up the tree.

I watched him make his way out onto the tip of a long tree limb where he seemed to blow in the breeze right along with the wispy branches. And then I turned my attention to the other two. One was no where to be found while the other decided that enough goodies had been tossed overboard that he could sit comfortably in the shade of the tree and feast without all of that clanking.

Sipping on coffee I found myself highly entertained by the shenanigans of the squirrel family and once again in awe of nature's ways.

Harbingers of Springtime in TN

2007-03-25T20:24:00.000-04:00

It's beginning to really look and feel like springtime here in northeastern Tennessee. And what a delight it is to watch spring breeze into this area! Just as I watched the subtle changes from week to week as autumn graced the mountains, I am able to watch equally subtle changes that are the harbingers of springtime. And, just as in autumn, it seems as though suddenly, out of the clear blue, the changes take on a more impressive presence - they shout "Look at me!" No longer subtle, they demand my attention. They are undeniably beautiful, incredible works of art compliments of Mother Nature.

Two weeks ago I sat in my livingroom and watched snow flurries. Last Sunday I saw signs of spring but still much of the landscape was bare, brown, and lifeless in its appearance. This Sunday is quite different! All week long it has been gloriously warm and breezy. Temperatures are delightful. Humidity is absent. (What a delight after perpetual summer and the accompanying humidity of southwest Florida for so many years.)

As I left work each evening this past week I couldn't help but notice the fact that it no longer felt like winter.

And, as I headed out the door the next morning to go to work, I was greeted by the birds who have returned and are only too happy to offer up a morning song for all to hear.

No longer brown and bare, the landscape here in Kingsport is a potpourri of pastel colors. Spring is definitely alive and well in this part of the world!

The Reading Lists

2007-03-18T22:00:00.000-04:00

After several weeks of silence, I finally returned to Blogger today. And I decided that my blog could use a little face lift ... I hope you like the new additions to the blog page. Check out the two new elements I've added: "Current Reads" is where you can see a list of the books I have read this month or am currently reading. "Recommended Reading List" is just what it says: a list of books that I have read and in many cases, re-read more than a few times. I highly recommend them to anyone who is looking for a "good read."

Curl up with a good book -- you'll be glad that you did! And, if you have any recommendations for me, I am always searching for more good reads!

The Perk They Could Never Promise

2007-02-26T18:23:00.000-05:00

When travel nursing recruiters begin to recite the list of perks associated with traveling there is one they can't offer - it's one that is far more valuable than many of the standard perks. It's a perk that didn't factor into my initial decision to travel - or to do so in Tennessee for now. One of the best perks that I've been able to enjoy is being able to meet someone I've known for five years or more but have yet to see her face-t0-face - until February 17th.

Starting out in the pre-dawn hours so that I could arrive mid-morning, I was filled with anticipation of the visit. Heading out of Kingsport, I was in awe of the sunrise that was unfolding in front of me. So much so that I had to stop to capture it. It was, I decided, a glimpse at the beauty to come during the weekend I was about to share with Mary Jo.

As I neared the end of my four hour drive to Virginia, I was amazed to find that Mother Nature had duplicated a scene that I had seen far too many times in the past few years down in Hurricane Alley. The area had been hit with a powerful snow and ice storm just days before. As I drove along the Interstate, I noticed that trees and roadside cliffs had been spared any sign of damage on their southern facing sides. But the northern facing sides of the trees were clad in thick ice causing the trees to bend and in some cases snap under the weight. The once sturdy trees were now listing to one side - bent over from the impact of the wind and the weight of the ice. This image was the cold version of what the wind and salt water of hurricanes do to trees in its path.

With Valentine's Day ice still coating the fields and roadsides of the Interstate I felt as though I had truly entered a winter wonderland. Afterall, wasn't it only a blog post or two ago that I said I was waiting to experience 'real winter' here in Tennessee? Well... I found it first in Virginia and then in Tennessee upon my return. (The ride back was not a pleasant and sunny one; windy conditions and snow blowing sideways made for a much more difficult drive at the end of the visit)

Mary Jo and I have shared stories for several years now. We write our stories every month and post them to the Story Circle Network's Internet Chapter e-circle #5. There is even a story about this small weeping willow tree planted on Mary Jo's property. Fifty or sixty stories later, we felt as though we knew one another quite well... So well that upon arrival, we immediately struck up a conversation as if we'd talked just a few minutes ago. We spent the weekend telling new stories, elaborating on the stories we posted to the circle in the past, encouraging one another to "write that book" and reveling in the incredible comfort of being with someone who shares common threads in life.

The weekend visit was one to be savored for days and weeks to come. And that is just what I have been doing for a little over a week now. For much of that time, I have gazed at the photos I snapped and recalled the wonder of the visit and the artisitic footnotes of Mother Nature. But now, it is time to share the visit and the photos with my other readers... And go back to the challenge to "write that book" !

You CAN Go Home Again!

2007-02-13T17:26:00.000-05:00

They say "you can't go home again" but what do "they" know? This past weekend proved that not only can I go home, but I can have fun doing so! The trick, I've discovered, is to know when to leave again.

I didn't recall any of the people my mother was sure I did remember! "Oh surely you remember so-&-so! They went to school with you" She must have said that - or something quite similar to that - a dozen times at least this weekend! And the truth of the matter is that I don't ... remember that is... No matter how hard I try.

But, what I did remember were places from my childhood days. The names and faces of people have faded from my memory long ago but some of the places are etched in my memory forever. Even as I drove into town on Friday evening I knew that I was "sort of lost but not really" -- I say that because I wasn't sure how to get from where I was to my parents' house (which is not the home I grew up in). But, I did know that I knew where I was. The intersections looked the same. The storefronts have changed ownership but I recognized them as being a 5-&-dime store or a bakery or the old post office... all places that live large in my memory.

Even though it is no longer an operational bakery, as I drove over the bridge beside the old red brick building, I could smell the essence of freshly baking bread. And more than that, without even closing my eyes, I could see a younger version of myself walking across that bridge with a younger version of my mother. You see, my Gramm lived above the old post office (also no longer operational) just around the corner from the bakery. I could have walked that route with my eyes closed even now, after all these years.

Driving down the main street of the town I called home as a child, I was amazed to see just how many places still look the same. Some are in various states of disrepair while others have taken on new personalities to fit their new owners. But there were more than a few that allowed me to take a mental stroll back in time. Childhood laughter and carefree days live along those sidewalks whose cracks boast the fact that they've been there a very long time. If only in the memory of those who, like me, return not often enough to still feel at home and yet often enough to always feel as if we have come home.

Nothing conjured up memories as much as the drive my parents and I took on Saturday afternoon. Driving into the New Cumberland Borough Park was a profoundly moving experience. If I closed my eyes tight enough perhaps we'd be driving in the old black Ford sedan instead of the sleek new Impala Daddy now drives. And, in closing my eyes, maybe I'd be joined there in the back seat by three other kids who each knew that the one next to them had crossed the imaginary lines that helped to create the seating pattern of four to a seat.

Daddy was going to just drive around the park to show me the improvements that have been made to the place. But, it only took one request from me and he parked the car and we got out.

Standing next to the old dam that I feared so terribly as a child, I was awestruck at the wonders of Mother Nature. As a child, I only saw the river and its dam as a place of foreboding and danger. As an adult, I saw a river partially frozen - intricate ice patterns occasionally broken up by narrow trickles of water.

In the quiet of the afternoon, I expected to hear the water's roar as it plunged over the side of the dam. But, instead, there was a delicate sound of falling water. At first I wasn't sure why the water seemed so much more gentle than it had as a child. Perhaps, I thought it was all in the perception of things. But, when I got to the dam's edge, I realized why the sound was not nearly as powerful as I had remembered: Three quarters of the dam was covered in a thick blanket of ice -- gallons and gallons of water that had attempted to come rushing over the falls had, instead, become frozen in time. At the far opposite end of the dam there was a small portion of the river that still flowed over the dam and out into the larger Susquehanna River. But there in the Borough Park, most of the dam offered me an exquisite site - one too beautiful for words (too beautiful and impressive for pictures. But I did find it necessary to try to capture the image).

As I stood by that dam and its frozen waterfall, I realized that I could, indeed go home again...I could have some new experiences. I could relive some childhood memories. I could bask in the warmth of family love. And I could find new fodder for my writing -- new from the old... new from the amazing influence 'place' has on us.

Yes, I can go home again. But, I also can leave with a renewed appreciation for what once was, what is and what can be - both in my hometown and in my writings from the heart.

Finding Warmth

2007-02-13T17:01:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was to have been a weekend shared with my sweet Caleb...
But, alas, this was not to happen. I had a message waiting for me on Thursday - his step-mom called to say that he was being kept home because he hadn't behaved well during the week. To say that I was disappointed would be a huge understatement. To admit that I spent hours crying about the lost opportunity and sobbing about the aching hole in my heart that is Caleb's absence from my life these days... well, that would be more like it.

Not sure what to do with a three day weekend that had succombed to that age old "best laid plans" theory, Friday morning found me just as melancholy as I had been on Thursday evening. Feeling more than a little out of sorts about the whole thing, it was difficult for me to see past this change in plans. But, bless her heart, my daughter Mandy had just the right solution to my now empty three day weekend.

By 10:30 a.m. I found myself on I-81 heading north - North to Pennsylvania. North to visit my parents, sister and sister's family. I had been meaning to get around to doing just that for some time now. Mandy knew that. "Mom, why don't you just do it!" she suggested, sounding very much like a Nike commercial. And so, "do it" I did! And I am so very glad!

The drive from here to there is a full 8 hours of driving but it is all on I-81 so it is not a difficult trip. Just a lonely one to make all by one's self. But, I did it. The queen of planning ahead did something impromptu! A rather big impromptu undertaking!

In Pennsylvania, I found winter - the kind of winter that I am still awaiting here in Tennessee. Snow and ice on sidewalk edges. Grass peeking through the bits of white on the ground. Stingingly cold days and howling winds at night... But, amid all of the cold that is winter, I found warmth like none I'd experienced in a long time... the warmth of family.

It had been about 10 months since I last saw my parents and two years since Lisa and I were together last. Her very active five children were very excited to visit with Aunt Lee. Aunt Lee was very excited to visit with them too!

Without my knowing it, Lisa called my oldest brother, Thom (three years younger than I) and invited him to drive up from New Jersey while I was there. He was only too willing to oblige. It had been, afterall, 23 years since he and I had seen one another!! We've talked on the phone and visited with the help of e-mails but to actually SEE one another, it had been a very long time -- too long.

The time spent with Thom, Lisa and her family, and my parents was probably one of the best weekends I have had in quite some time. Conversation around a kitchen table never felt so welcomed ... so warm. Hugs never felt so sincere between us. The gift of family is indeed a precious one. In my family's home, I found warmth in winter -- enough warmth to carry me back to Tennessee with less of a heart ache for the lost time with Caleb and much joy for time spent with others in my family.

Mom, Daddy and Me (in the middle)
02-11-2007
Camp Hill, Pennsylvania

Music in Black & White

2007-02-06T16:13:00.000-05:00

When I moved from Florida, I swore I'd never leave my music behind. But in the end, I had to leave my sound system and the hundreds of CD's that shuffled their way through my life on a daily basis. We just ran out of room in the car...it was take the sound system or take the cats... Guess I don't need to tell you which won, do I?

I thought I'd be okay without it. I had a handful of CD's in the car and a small alarm clock with a CD player on it. But, it just wasn't the same as hitting the "ON" button and having a day of endless music. Tim and Mandy both offered to pack up the system and the CD's but I was afraid they'd be broken or lost in transit so I declined. (All the while pining away for "my music")

Since moving here in September, Tim has only been up to visit a couple of times. He was here shortly before Thanksgiving and then again in January. Christmas came and went with not so much as a card let alone a gift - but that has been par for the course from him in the past few years so I was not surprised... Alright, I admit I was more than a little disappointed.

But, little did I know that he was bringing a surprise with him on the January visit. That said, I'll bet you think the surprise was my sound system and CD's, don't you? Wrong! He flew this time so there was no way he could bring all that.

Not in the door more than five minutes and hurrying to open his suitcase, Tim announced he had something he wanted me to see. I never dreamed it would be a gift of any sort - and especially one that would bring such joy! Handing me a small black box and a smaller white box, he stood back and watched.

I opened the black box first and had absolutely no clue what it was... I could tell this tickled him to no end. He had me guessing and he loved every minute of it. After opening the smaller white box, I recognized it and concluded that the black box must have something to do with the contents of the white box.

He had given me the gift of music - one that I could make "mine all mine" just as those CD's in the shuffler at the condo in Naples were. The small white box held an iPod (not that I had ever given one more than a passing glance). The black box was, in fact, a sound system for the iPod should one want to play it indoors. Should one want to play it indoors? Of course one (well, THIS ONE) wants to play it indoors!

And so, after more than four months without 'my music' I am finally able to enjoy it once again. Using the iPod gift card that was tucked in the black box, I have loaded many selections onto this amazing little gizmo that packs a wallop of a stereo sound. My days and nights are filled with 'my music' - the music that relaxes me, the music that stirs my creative energies, the music that makes home sound like home...the music that serenades me as I write this...

.......... Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
~ Berthold Auerbach

Mandatory Overtime ?

2007-02-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

I really am still here although the lack of recent posts might lead one to believe otherwise. I cannot believe that the holidays have gone and the first month of 2007 is history and I didn't get one single post up on the blog. And why no posts? The short answer is WORK!

Ah, yes, I know what you're thinking... "But she took this job to have more time to play/create/take care of herself and less time for work!" You'd be absolutely correct if you thought that. Somewhere between December 14th's post and last week, the bottom fell out of that safety net. Mandatory imposed overtime to the tune of 50-60 hrs per week instead of the contracted 36 per week can be a real creativity killer! It doesn't do much for the soul either.

But, now that the February schedule is in place there is no more overtime - mandatory or otherwise. There was never supposed to be in the first place. I am, afterall, not the hospital's employee but rather an employee of the travel agency who signed a contract with the hospital. The staffing issues at the hospital are not going to go away - whether I work extra or not... But, my own energies and creative desires certainly took a holiday while I was working unreasonable schedules.

So, now you all are wondering what's going on in my life... maybe...

First and foremost, I am still in Tennessee. The second 13 week contract is at the halfway mark. We know (my recruiter and I) that there is no way I am staying here any longer. And we have been trying to find a possible 'good fit' for me in Arizona... they have plenty of jobs in Arizona but not necessarily in the place that I want to be (doesn't that have a familiar ring to it?) The goal is to get as close to a little place called Green Valley as possible. That is where my dear friend and sister of the soul, AnnMarie lives and SHE is the reason I am wanting to go to Arizona in the first place. The closest city to Green Valley is Tucson. Right now, there are no openings in Tucson and the closest my recruiter can get me is 90-some miles from there.

I know all about those 90-some miles for that is the same distance I am from Caleb. It doesn't seem impossible but it isn't necessarily ideal either. I know from experience that if the work schedule gets difficult, the thought of three hours of drive time to spend a couple of hours visiting becomes more than I care to deal with. So, for now, I am keeping my eyes on Tucson and its surrounding area and hoping that my recruiter will have the perfect job for me there!

The overtime put some real kinks in time with Caleb. That is the biggest sore spot about the whole mandatory overtime fiasco. I have seen him a few times but not for the blocks of time I had hoped over the holidays, etc. Before you go getting too concerned, he and I did get to spend three wonderful days together the week before Christmas - at which time we celebrated our Christmas since I was slated to work both the Christmas Eve & Day as well as the New Year's Eve and Day shifts. And we've had some great "dates"! We would go out to a matinee and lunch or do something fun together and then I'd turn around and drive back so that I could be at work the next day.

With a "normal" work schedule in place, (does anyone really know the meaning of the word 'normal'?) I am beginning to find time and energy to do some writing and altered book art. And I have plans to pick up Caleb when he gets home from school on Friday! We are not going on a date! We are coming back to my place for the whole weekend! I can't wait!

I am still relishing the fact that I am living someplace other than the land of perpetual summer. Contrary to what my family thought, I am not freezing my **** off! And I am not hibernating! Instead, I am living each day in awe of the way Mother Nature moves with unassuming grace here in these mountains. And I am STILL waiting for it to snow!!

13 Weeks...

2006-12-14T12:25:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, I am at the end of the 13 week contract which set a whole new life in motion for me. In so many ways it seems as though I just started on this journey. In other ways, I have now settled into a life that fits as comfortably as a pair of worn slippers. In all ways, I am glad that I took the risk, followed my heart, and stepped out of my uncomfortable comfort zone.

The 13 weeks have flown by. What seemed like more than enough time to see and do all that I hoped to see and do here in the mountains of Tennessee now seems like hardly enough time to learn what there is to do and where to do it let alone accomplish it all.

The drill for a travel RN is that about halfway through a contract, the recruiter and the RN begin talking about what to do/ where to go next. So, back in the early part of November, "my new best friend, the recruiter Jim" and I started such a conversation. Keeping in mind that when I first investigated this whole way of living and working it seemed as though there were endless jobs here in TN, I first asked to be relocated to some place that would be closer driving distance to Caleb. Granted, 90 minutes is far better than 13 hours away as I was in Florida but still, that makes for a chunk of time I could otherwise be spending with him instead of playing musical lanes with the truckers on the interstate!

All hopes of locating to the Knoxville area were dashed when I learned that for the most part that city uses a local staffing agency to deal with short term staffing needs and travel RNs are a thing of the past there.

Next, "Recruiter Jim" and I started talking about what other states were close enough if I found a job on the border closest to TN... the best bet seemed to be a place called Franklin NC... also 90 minutes from Caleb who lives in Sevierville TN (home of Dollywood and many other attractions) So, in the midst of autumn's splendor, I took a daytrip to this place called Franklin. What a quaint little town! And so picturesque! I fell in love with it immediately. Apparently so did several other nurses and one of them got the job before my contract expired here in Kingsport.

By the time end of November rolled around, I was looking at the bleak possibility of having to return to Florida if this place didn't renew my contract. And, for the record, they had been telling me for weeks that their goal was to be "traveler free" by January 1. Reason? We travel RN's are tough on a budget! They of course offered me a job as a staff nurse but.... I am not ready to commit to that. Besides, if I were going to do that I would go to Knoxville or even Sevierville to be right near Caleb.

It was the proverbial eleventh hour when I got a call from Jim saying that the hospital here wanted to renew my contract if I was still interested in doing so. Why? The nursing shortage is alive and well (unfortunately) here in Kingsport TN just like it is in so many other places across the country. And so, I am happy to announce that I am staying in Tennessee for another 13 week contract which will end on March 17th - St Patty's Day - and since I am Irish, I guess that is the luck of the Irish indeed!

Tim and I have been in daily conversation about the prospects of what next? He still isn't ready to scale back his hours or to commit to any real change in his lifestyle or our relationship. I am not ready to go back to a place that just seemed to drain so much of my life energy from me. That all being said, a real distinct possibility has presented itself. My dear friend and sister of my soul, AnnMarie is encouraging me to take a 13 week contract in Arizona in the spring. She lives in Green Valley which is near Tucson.

My recruiter tells me that the company I am working for "has a very strong presence in New Mexico and Arizona" SO, I am going to go for it! I have begun the process of applying for a nursing license in Arizona and already have my recruiter planning ahead for springtime in Arizona.

Now, I am the first to admit that it is so NOT ME to be wanting to pick up and move hither and yon. As AnnMarie says, I am a "nester" by nature. But, I am also experiencing the freedom of a woman who is finally realizing who she is, what is important in life and how to acheive happiness. I am living life in a way I have never given myself permission to do... for me!
I have reminded myself that going to Arizona for 13 weeks means being away from Caleb for that long. But I have also reminded myself that I can always come back to the Tennessee area in the summer when he is out of school and remain here in the fall again..... unless by that time life proves that something/somewhere else is a better choice for me.

It is nice to have the freedom and flexibility to do this travel nurse thing... It is nice to know that no matter where I work I am appreciated. It is nice to come home to my kitties and the peace and quiet that I used to only long for but never get. It is nice to begin to experience life on my terms instead of everyone else's terms. Life IS good!

Should have known better

2006-12-13T08:17:00.000-05:00

Bet my blog readers are thinking that I have vanished from the face of the earth! Ahhh! Not so!
But, I should have known better when I decided to attempt the lofty goal set by the NaNoWriMo folks.... Not that the idea of writing a novel in one month is an impossible goal to reach - for some. BUT, for someone who is in a relatively new job and new town where autumn reigns queen of Mother Nature's court..... well.... let's just say that enjoying Mother Nature's glory won out over writing that many words in one month!

The month of November was spectacular here in Kingsport. For the first time in more than 30 years, I had a pallet of reds, golds, yellows and oranges greeting me from every vantage point. And I thought I could stay away from those to write a whole novel in one month? Ha!

So, to those of you who have written to see if I met my goal (or just wondered to yourselves) the answer is a big fat NO - But, rest assured that I did not see this as a failure. Not at all.
Rather, it was yet one more learning experience in this classroom I call my life.

I learned that giving myself permission to fail to meet such a goal is not going to ruin my integrity or my motivation to be a writer. And I learned that even if I couldn't bring myself to sit and write enough during the month of November, I still developed a keen awareness of the diligence and discipline that will be necessary to finally complete that novel that has been hanging around my desk far too long.

And just for the record, I did do more than soak up the fall colors during the month of November. For the last three weeks of November, I had one family member or another here to visit. First Tim came to visit - first time in Tennessee since driving me up here in September. We had a wonderful time together. After he left, I found myself questioning the wisdom of my being here in TN and his being in FL... But then I reminded myself that if we had been in the same location in Florida, he'd be working nearly 20 hours a day/seven days a week and I'd be lonely in Florida instead of being alone in Tennessee... and there is a HUGE difference between lonely and alone. I am now wise enough to realize that and to know that I'll choose alone in a place where I am happy over lonely in a place where I am not.

Not more than two or three days after Tim left, my youngest daughter Mandy, her husband Lee and my granddaughter KelseyRose arrived (also from Florida) We spent several days together before they headed to Virginia for Thanksgiving with his family. Then, on their way back from Virginia, they stopped again for a few days. We had a fantastic time together. And it was so refreshing to spend time with "Nan's Girl." Being so far from KelseyRose is one of the big downsides to being so far from Florida. But she and I talk on the phone almost every day and that makes a huge difference for both of us.

So, alas, no novel in the month of November but lots of good times and beautiful weather. And all of that equates to a very good month indeed!

She who needs to write more...

2006-11-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, I admit it... I am not feeling quite so crazy as I did yesterday. After spending some quality writing time at the laptop keyboard yesterday and today I have been able to log a total of 2,657 words. Now, if I can just keep up that pace ...

Oh no! I WAS feeling less crazy. But that was before I did the math! At the rate of 1,328 words per day, for 30 days, I will be at the grand total of 39,841...
Which means I will be ONLY 10, 159 words short of my goal...

SIGH !! And I thought I was on top of things here! Maybe I should add my the word count from my blogs to see if I can get closer to the 50,000?

Oh well... there will be days when I can crank out more than 1,300 words and there will, in all likelihood, be days when I can't even come close to that number. So, let the chips...um, words...fall where they may. I have thrown down the proverbial gauntlet and challenged my muse - and myself. So, back to the keyboard and the NaNoWriMo project!

What Was I Thinking?

2006-11-01T14:24:00.000-05:00

I must be as nuts as those acorns that I wrote about in my "He's All Boy" blog note the other day! What was I thinking? What possessed me?

I guess I dared myself to try to do the NaNoWriMo challenge. For those of you who are not familiar with NaNoWriMo let me explain. November has been earmarked as the month in which writers are challenged to write an entire novel in one month - the goal being 50,000 words or more!

"You've got to be kidding me!" I thought to myself when I first read about it. But, for some reason the concept would not go away. Maybe my muse was chattering in my ear about it. For whatever reason, this morning, I went to the NaNoWriMo website and signed up to participate in the challenge.

Now, let's get one thing perfectly clear here - The challenge is to write the 50,000 words in the one month time frame - not to have a polished, ready for publication novel in hand at month's end. So, in essence, it is a challenge to have that all important first draft done -- or at least the first 50,000 words of the first draft.

So, those of you who have always encouraged me to write a book -- well, now's your chance to see me attempt to do just that. And for those of you who have thought all along that I had a few screws loose, perhaps you are right and this proves it. But perhaps you are wrong and I will prove that to you instead!

At any rate, the next 30 days will be filled with writing frenzy as I try to reach my goal -- to rise to the challenge or dare that I gave myself this morning. Not a 'bet you won't do it" but rather a "you can do it if you try" sort of dare.

Will she or won't she? Time will tell. And this blog will tell of the process and the progress so return often!

He's All Boy

2006-10-29T21:29:00.000-05:00

Caleb and I have been enjoying time together --
Time out in the wonderful Autumn weather of the Tennessee mountains. Sometimes we go to parks, sometimes we stay right here at my apartment complex.

Last weekend was one of those weekends when we stayed close to home. But staying close to home does not mean staying IN the apartment! Especially when you are all boy - which Caleb definitely is! And, especially when the weather is so delightful and the leaves are so gorgeous.

We went on a treasure hunt of sorts... On our hunt we found acorns. I hadn't seen acorns in over 30 years - until I moved here last month. Caleb, of course, stopped to pick up as many as his little hands and pockets could hold. He apparently had not seen acorns before either because he was full of questions about these odd looking items. He was especially fascinated by the "hats" that some of them had and the fact that others were bare - and their hats were found close by.

After climbing on the jungle-gym at the apartment complex playground, we discovered a white fence that separated us from a hill that sloped down to a small creekbed and lots of trees.

Being all boy, the creek, the fence, the trees and hill were an instant invitation to try out his throwing arm. All of those acorns and "hats" were not safe in his pockets for long. "Watch this, Nan!" he exclaimed with a glint in his eye that told me he was overjoyed with the gifts of nature and the promise of a way to interact with those gifts.

Being absolutely certain that I was, indeed, watching him, slowly and deliberately Caleb began pitching those acorns over the fence and into the creek. Sometimes he heard them hit a leaf and giggled. Once in a while, a chipmunk or squirrel would scurry out from under leafy cover. And on more than one occasion, Caleb was absolutely certain that his acorn had landed in the creek. "Did you hear that splash, Nan?" (Of course I hadn't but... who am I to say that he didn't?)

Yep, he's all boy and I am "all Nan"... and he and I are a great team. We each fuel one another's love for life and nature and make the most of every opportunity we have to share that love.

End of October: last year and now

2006-10-29T20:08:00.000-05:00

Last year's end of October found me tree-watching but for quite a different reason than this year's tree-watching activities. This is the tale of two Octobers and two sets of trees... This is a pause to remember the way things were last year at this time and to be thankful for the way things are this year as October comes to a close.

In a day or two, trick-or-treaters will be scurrying through neighborhoods all over the country. In Naples, Florida last Halloween there was no trick-or-treating. It was deemed too dangerous. Hurricane Wilma had unleashed her wrath on us. In her path she felled trees and in doing so, took out many powerlines. She also left standing water of great depths in many streets and so much storm debris that it was just not safe for people to be out on the streets after dark.

I didn't think much about Wilma this month - until I had the uncanny thought that I was spending so much time watching trees change - slowly, deliberately and beautifully... And that last year, in a matter of hours, trees had changed in not so typical ways. Last year's changes were not beautiful. They were sad and terminal. The October 2005 tree changes I saw were not yearly occurrences... they were, hopefully, once in a lifetime observations that I hope never to see again.

These are the beautiful banyan trees that have been the subject of more than one bit of my writing over the years. Their roots give the appearance of an embrace. Their aged structures offer shade under lush green canopies to passersby.
For the thirty or so years that I lived in Naples, I found them to be a romantic reminder of Mother Nature's beauty.

These palms, no longer gently swaying in the balmy gulf breezes, became the harbingers of what Wilma had in store for us - her path heading right toward Naples. Sometimes, as Wilma approached, they seemed to bow in half under the sheer force of her wind strength. This sort of tree-watching I could do without.

In the aftermath of Wilma's fury, my 30-year hometown of Naples was forever changed. This is a picture of one of the main intersections of the downtown shopping area - usually filled with tourists and traffic, hours after Wilma it was filled with gulf waters instead.

Out on a walk to inspect Wilma's impact on my neighborhood, I spied the saddest of all sights: Those gorgeous banyan trees were unable to withstand the force of Wilma's wind and fury. They were uprooted- lifted right out of the ground as if they were toothpicks instead of rootbases that stood some ten feet above ground when toppled on their sides... The incredible sadness I felt as I saw these trees is something I am still at a loss to describe.

Fast forward to end of October 2006... No longer in Naples, Florida and therefore no longer in "hurricane alley," I found myself anticipating a new (actually a very familiar and old) form of tree-watching: the much anticipated "leafing" experience that people search for in areas where autumn is season of reds, golds, and oranges.

These tree changes are a welcome sight. These, too, are the handiwork of Mother Nature. But in this case, her work is lovely to behold. A wonderful reminder of the cyclic nature of life. A gentle nudge toward the cooler temperatures and shorter days ahead.

This year, my tree-watching is breathtaking, invigorating. This year, I monitor the wind by the gentle movements of the scarecrow windsock on my back porch and the soft tunes of the windchimes. Quite a change from the way in which I observed wind in motion last year! A much preferred pasttime to say the least.

I'll take this end of October's tree watching activities over last year's anyday! Here's to Autumn in the beautiful mountains of Northeast Tennessee - a far more beautiful place than the 2005 version of Naples, Florida!

Discovery!

2006-10-15T21:45:00.000-04:00

Today was one of those picture perfect days. Crisp autumn air, clear blue sky.
Hints of red, orange and gold everywhere I looked. It was a perfect day for a Sunday drive in the country.

Ever since I arrived here in Tennessee, I have been trying to explore a little bit on my days off. Today was no exception. Another day off ... another day of exploration. Another exploration... another discovery! That's the way it goes. You go exploring and no matter where you end up, you discover something or someplace that makes the time spent worthwhile.

Deciding to get off the interstate and take a drive in the country was a treat in and of itself. But, when I spied the little signs pointing the way to "old covered bridge" I knew that I had made my discovery for today's trip. What I didn't know at that exact moment was how that discovery would shape my thoughts all day today.

Built in 1875, the Harrisburg Covered Bridge was today's discovery.
Covered bridges are not new to me. I have many fond memories of walking or driving through them in Pennsylvania when I was young. But, today's discovery awakened a different sort of memory from deep within...

I was transported to "Bridges of Madison County" and as I stood there in awe of a structure that is over one hundred thirty years old, I couldn't help but think that in a different way, I was much like Francesca from "Bridges". Oh, I am not having an affair with a Clint Eastwood type photographer. But I am having an affair - an affair of the heart and soul. An affair with my very core.

This move to Tennessee has opened the flood gates. My curiosity is piqued. My senses are in a heightened state of awareness. The wonders of Mother Nature bring joy and peace. The more time I spend in the outdoors, exploring and discovering, the more I realize that I am finding the person I thought I lost a long time ago. I like her! I like her a lot!

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before.
-- Francesca from "Bridges of Madison County"

What a difference a week makes!

2006-10-12T18:57:00.000-04:00

Last week I went to Bays Mountain Park in search of signs of fall. The signs were there but they were subtle and relatively few and far between. As I walked along the nature trail and the lake I could see hints of autumn colors in the trees - mostly from a distance. And as I sat on one of the benches, I spied an occasional leaf on the ground.
I snapped these two brightly colored fallen leaves to document my first glimpse of Tennessee fall...

Fast forward to a week or so later. Now the signs of fall are much more prominent. Even here in the valley I can see Mother Nature's artwork coming to life. And, from a distance there are more than a few colorful trees to admire.

Today it really felt like fall! Actually it was one of those "Winnie the Pooh Blustery Days" The wind was brisk and chilly. And, as I made my way down the nature trail (again at Bays Mountain) I found myself thinking "My goodness! It's raining leaves!" They were drifting down from the highest branches and any little gust of wind caused the ones on the ground to swirl and dance playfully at my feet.

Sitting on the exact same bench along the trail I looked down and couldn't help but snap this picture to document that in a week's time, so much has changed! Where once there was a lone leaf and lots of bare ground it is now impossible to see the path for all of the leaves!

The crisp air, the fall leaves, the quiet of the mountain forest... a perfect setting to sit quietly and savor the moment. I am here in the midst of autumn's splendor for the first time in 30 years. This is exactly what I have longed for - it is the root of that "homesick" feeling that I have been trying to describe to people for the past few years. Today's jaunt to the mountain has reinforced what I have already figured out - my heart has come home and my soul has found peace.

My Hero

2006-10-04T18:56:00.000-04:00

The following is a draft of a newspaper article - shared with me by my "son" (Daniel) Todd Madden. He grew up right in front of my eyes. He called me "mom" from middle school on. He dated and eventually married one of my daughters.

Back in those innocent days, belonging to JROTC was a way to learn citizenship, get pre-military training, and receive a headstart on what most thought would be a stint in the military to see the world and get a good education. When I saw Todd in his JROTC uniform, I was so proud of him. Never did I dream that in a few years he would be in the midst of a war. But the minute the events of 9-11 began to unfold, I knew otherwise. My heart sank when I realized that not only had our nation been attacked, but my "son" and many other sons and daughters would be sent to war.

As a member of Special Ops, it is rare that he is able to say where he is going or even when. Usually I get emails saying "My services are requested so if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry." Don't worry! Right! How's a mom to NOT worry when she has no way to contact him and she reads and hears of the events in Afghanistan and/or Iraq?

When the plans to move to Tennessee were falling into place, one of the bonuses - I thought - was that now I was going to be living in the same state as my precious grandson Caleb and my "son" Todd. We would be able to visit often - a treat that I have rarely been able to enjoy in the past several years. But, alas, Todd (Daniel to the ARMY) was deployed within the first week of my being here in Tennessee. So now, we look forward to his homecoming so that I can welcome him with open arms and tell him to his face (instead of in letters and emails) just how proud I am of him - and how much I love him.

I'd like to give credit to the person who wrote this draft but unfortunately, when Todd sent it to me this is all I got.... Please read the following draft and see why I am so proud of this young man... And please remember him and all of our uniformed men and women in your prayers.

A private plane traveled from Hamilton , Ohio , to Clarksville , Tennessee , to meet a Fort Campbell Soldier at Outlaw Airfield on Saturday. Passers-by probably thought the pilots and waiting Soldier were good friends or family. In fact, it was the first time they met in person.

Joseph Secrist, an Army veteran from Hamilton , coordinated the flight to make a special presentation to Staff Sgt. Daniel Madden, a Night Stalker assigned to 2nd Battalion, 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (Airborne) (SOAR (A)) at Fort Campbell , Ky. There was no fanfare, no audience, no speech and no round of applause. It was a personal thank you from one veteran to another.

Secrist presented a small token of appreciation to Madden for his service in the Global War on Terrorism: a replica of a SOAR(A) Chinook helicopter that was shot down in the Battle of Takur Ghar during Operation Anaconda in support of Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan . Madden was a 160th crew member during that mission in which seven special operations forces were killed in action.

Though Secrist did not know Madden personally, he believes that every man and woman that serves our country deserves a thank you and recognition for their service and sacrifice. Building replicas of military aircraft representative of a military operation and presenting the models to veterans is Secrists' own personal way of showing his gratitude.

"I want to do more than a handshake and a thank you for veterans who fought for my freedom," said Secrist. "I also assume the responsibility to preserve and perpetuate individual contributions to aviation history."

His idea for recognizing veterans began after a chance meeting with a World War II veteran. "I was thinking about a color scheme for a B-24J (model airplane) and met Albert Oncidi who mentioned he was a B-24 pilot and flew a mission to the famous Ploesti Oil Refinery in Romania, one of the most daring and costliest raids of World War II," said Secrist. "I presented my first model to Albert in 1991 to preserve and perpetuate his story."

Secrist is not alone in his "crusade" to honor veterans. "Mr. A. Moore built a model of a second (SOAR) aircraft on Takur Ghar as a tribute to its crew," he said. "( Moore ) sent Dan photos of his model and enlisted me to shake Dan's hand on his behalf."

"I'm extremely appreciative that someone I have never met feels strongly enough about our Soldiers' sacrifices to spend so much time on such a precious gift," said Madden. "At the same time, I don't feel I did anything remotely good enough to deserve such a token."

Secrist said words can hardly describe what it means to recognize a veteran for their service to our nation. "It is an honor and a privilege to do this for veterans and I take it very seriously," he explained.

Madden's model is Secrist's first commemorating today's generation of veterans. After completing projects already in progress, Secrist hopes to find a female pilot or air crew to honor next. "My collection would not be fair or accurate without representing the courage and sacrifice of women in uniform," he said.

Working hard for accuracy, Secrist invests hundreds of hours into researching, building and modifying a single model. "Dan's nooks were modified with a false roof made of paper, balsa and wire ribs. I also made ammo boxes for the guns and made the aft cargo door retractable into the cargo ramp."

Since 1991, Secrist has completed and presented six models representing two pilots, two flight engineers and gunners, one boomer and one tail gunner representing snapshots of history from World War II , Vietnam and now Operation Enduring Freedom. When possible, Secrist builds two models of the aircraft, one for the veteran and one for his collection. He keeps a framed photo and caption of the veteran holding their model, a reminder of each Soldier's story.

Madden plans to display the model aircraft in his living room next to his Broken Wing Award, which he was presented for his actions on Takur Ghar when his aircraft was shot down by enemy fire. Though Madden feels he does not deserve recognition for his participation in the events at Takur Ghar, he believes the model aircraft is a reminder that people remember and appreciate the sacrifices service members make in the line of duty.

'There are a lot of things that (special operations forces) do that so few will ever know about," said Madden. "It is heartfelt to me that the memory of our fallen comrades from that night will be remembered."

Secrist hopes when Madden sees the model it will elicit thoughts of pride, accomplishment and a reminder that someone cares and had the foresight to preserve his history for future generations.

If you have a Soldier in mind for Secrist to recognize, he has a few simple requirements. First is that he meets the veteran in person. He said it is critical to have photographs of the aircraft for reference and the Soldier should be prepared for him to pick his or her brain for details on their combat experience. Every model Secrist makes is tailored to tell the Soldier's story that goes with it.

There is no cost for the models, said Secrist. "Their account was paid in full when they fought for my - our - freedom," he said. "In fact, I still owe them."

Joseph Secrist can be reached by e-mail at Tuskegee@fuse.net.

Everywhere I turn - another reason to smile

2006-10-04T16:26:00.000-04:00

I've been smiling alot the past couple of weeks. I know this because the surgery that I had two years ago for malignant melanoma left a nerve and muscle deficit on the left side of my face and sometimes when I smile or laugh, the left side of my mouth gets "stuck" in an upturned spot until I physically coax it to relax. I've had my hand up to that left side of my mouth more in the past two weeks than I did in the entire two years since the surgery! Seems that everywhere I turn there's another reason to smile.

Even if my mouth didn't sometimes get "stuck" I'd know I was smiling more these days. Did you ever notice that when you smile your whole body seems lighter and your heart feels weightless? Next time you find yourself smiling, stop and listen to your heart's song. It is lighter, happier, more easy-going.

So what am I smiling about? A field of blackeyed susans for one. There I was, driving along a narrow, winding road lined with freshly mowed fields. All of a sudden, there they were, these lovely flowers greeting all who drove by.

People here in Tennessee have been decorating for the fall season. There were pumpkins and scarecrows everywhere I looked. I smiled because I love fall. I smiled because even if you did decorate in Florida, it never felt like fall so it somehow lost some of its appeal but here it is genuinely refreshing.

Driving a little farther down this winding road, I happened upon an old farmhouse. As I found myself wondering about the stories this farmhouse could tell if only it could talk, I spied several goats grazing in the side yard. And I smiled. They reminded me of the goat that lived in my Gramm's neighborhood when I was small. We would take a walk along the railroad tracks behind her house. At the end of the path, the last yard was home to "Fragrance" the goat. She loved Dentyne gum but even more than the gum, she loved the wrapper from Gramm's Dentyne!

A few miles down the road, I started up an incline. Now, having driven in Florida (spelled f-l-a-t) for nearly thirty years, I had forgotten about the steep inclines and the surprises that might be lurking at the top of the incline. As I approached the top of the incline, I couldn't see what was to come. But pretty soon, I was coasting down the road at a speed that made my stomach drop to my toes. And I smiled. Not because I necessarily like that feeling, but because it caused me to remember the Sunday afternoon rides that we would take as a family. Daddy would be sure to drive down country roads, through covered bridges and up and down the hills 'til we had enough "roller coaster effect" to last 'til the next time.

Stopping at a local farmer's market along the way I discovered the small town appeal and homegrown element that has been missing back in Naples, Florida for so long. Vendors with their homemade jams, pastries, and breads encourage sampling. Fresh produce never looked so good. Cardboard signs boast "best local 'taters" and other homegrown fruits and veggies. The locals are charming, friendly and welcoming. Smiles abound at the farmer's market - mine included!

On the way back from my country drive, I began to notice that here in the valley there is an occasional blush of autumn's colors but nothing that one would call spectacular - yet. And I smiled. I smiled because seeing those first blushing leaves I know that the fall season is on its way.

At the end of my country drive I smiled because I had just spent a delightful day exploring and experiencing my new surroundings. I smiled because I had been given so many reasons to smile that day. I smiled because I realized that I am genuinely happy and relaxed. And I smiled because I felt good and when you feel good it is just natural to smile!

You are my sunshine...

2006-10-04T09:40:00.000-04:00

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"

This handsome little guy is my sunshine! Caleb and I spent the day together this past Sunday. Caleb has always loved Autumn -- wonder who he gets that from? As we strolled down the street in Pigeon Forge he asked if we could get a scarecrow to put in his front yard. Some years it's been the pumpkins; other years it was the black cats. This year it's a scarecrow. No matter what catches his fancy in any particular fall season, he always has "Fall Fever" just like his "Nan."

We never did find an appropriate scarecrow to buy but we did find this adorable one to use in our Kodak Moment. He (the scarecrow, not Caleb) was a very willing participant in the photo shoot. Caleb was thrilled to be able to have his picture taken with the smiling fella in blue.

My project this week is to get/make a scarecrow for him. I am happy to try to honor his request. Anything that makes him smile is worth any and all effort. You see, his smiles are like sunshine to me. They radiate their way right into my soul.

Sitting on a haystack - next to a scarecrow - and in the midst of sunflowers, Caleb is sunshine personified. And now that I am living in Tennessee I am once again close to my sunshine which means there are an untold number of sunshine days ahead!

Alive & Well in Tennessee!

2006-10-01T20:22:00.000-04:00

Bet you thought I got lost once I left my thirty year home of Naples, Florida! Actually I was lost - but it was a different sort of lost... I was lost to the world of cyber space. Not lost IN space - more like lost WITHOUT it!

The trip to Tennessee was relatively uneventful. Even travel with two kitties proved to be a breeze (after one of them meowed herself into a state of being hoarse).

Securing internet access was not such a breeze! Over the course of two weeks I had three service calls and two modems and still no consistent access. The wonderful world of technology is ONLY wonderful IF and WHEN it works well! At last, one very nice young man from the cable company decided that perhaps the problem was not in my apartment or my modem, but rather out on the pole and the external lines. Sure enough! An adapter that had signs of burn on it... The nasty culprit has been replaced and now I am reconnected with my cyber world!

So, stay tuned for some posts to catch everyone up on the goings on here in Tennessee as I ease into my new life. I have lots to share!

The Count and I....

2006-09-09T20:15:00.000-04:00

When Caleb was only about 18 months old, like most little ones that age, he loved to watch Sesame Street. Each day there was a number of the day and a letter sponsor. We started watching because of his attraction to the adorable little red toddler, Elmo. But soon, Caleb began to recognize his numbers thanks to the feisty "Count" who made learning numbers fun. He looked forward to the lively sessions in which The Count would take him on a musical number encounter.

Sometimes The Count would do a dance that was choreographed to a catchy tune that included the lyrics "doing the batty bat"... Scooping Caleb up in my arms, I would bounce/dance him around the room in at a waltz-like tempo keeping time with the music. Laughing all the while, we did this dance each time The Count did the "batty bat" and we would count our way through the numbers one through fifteen each time.

When it was time for a commercial break, the segue was "this portion of Sesame Street is brought you you by the letter ___ and the number ___." Yet one more opportunity for Caleb to have numbers and letters reinforced. Yet one more opportunity for me to laugh and smile with genuine joy as I watched my precious babe.

Today, as I was counting the number of days until I leave for Tennessee (and Caleb) I arrived at the number six and from somewhere in my memory bank, a flashback of Caleb and me waltzing around the living room to The Count singing his number song and the two of us "doing the batty bat". All day I have had an echo in my head: "The number of the day is 6." And another echo: "This portion is brought to you by the letter "T" (that would be "T" for Tennessee!!!)

Tomorrow it will be the letter "P" for Pack and the number of the day will be 5. There's precious little of that left to be done, actually. But every time I turn around I think of something else that I want to be sure to take with me.

Monday's sponsor is the letter "R" for remembering the awful day five years ago when our whole world changed right about the time Sesame Street was airing on PBS. Even the huge amount of joy I am feeling about the upcoming new life I am mapping out for myself cannot overshadow the deeply emotional feelings each time 9/11 comes to mind. Monday's number of the day will be 4 - for the 4seasons that beckon me.

Tuesday's number of the day will be 3 and the letter sponsor will be "F" for friends who want to have one last cup of coffee or say goodbye.

Wednesday will bring with it the number 2. Two more day until I am Tennessee bound! And Wednesday will be sponsored by the letter "G" as in "Getting ready to GO" - GO to Tennessee!

Thursday, I will be mentally waltzing around the room with the number "1" and the letter "C." "C" for Caleb - I will be on my way soon, dear little one! MY little ONE and only ONE more day until I start my trip to be near you once again.

With Friday, the letter of the day has no choice but to be "J" for the sheer joy that has been bubbling up from the very bottom of my heart as I have prepared for the day. And, the number ZERO will lead me to my new life!

With each day full of anticipation, I am amazed that the memories of Caleb, The Count and Me came rushing back with such strength today... But I am oh so glad that they did. It seems rather fitting actually. Caleb is one of the reasons I chose Tennessee as my destination. Caleb is the reason for so much joy in my life. Tennessee promises freedom, joy and Caleb... in just six more days!

Teapot Tales

2006-09-04T19:09:00.000-04:00

When I used my teapot collection as the basis for a story in my Story Circle Network writing e-circle, several of my writing sisters suggested that I consider writing the stories of specific teapots in my collection.
After their suggestions, I went so far as to assign names to some of them (and am still working on names for others) Teapot Rose, Teapot Grace and Teapot Belle are all here with you as you read this entry - as are some of the yet to be named teapots.

My pending move to Tennessee seems like the perfect time to act on those suggestions and begin the teapot tales in earnest. Why now? Well... As I mentioned in a previous post, I am not taking all of my belongings with me on the first pass. Some of my belongings are staying behind for now. Some are going to be packed and sent to me. Some will be packed safely for my daughter to keep til she comes up to visit later this fall.

Because I am heading directly into autumn, I feel fairly certain that I will have plenty of opportunities to steep a nice pot of tea and enjoy it in the cool night air. What better way to do so than with one of the teapots from my collection? And, of course, what better vessel for enjoying that tea than from one of my bone china tea cups - of equally sentimental value?

But how to decide which one will go and which ones will stay behind? Now that is a tricky question! It's like asking a mother which one of her kids she wants to take along if she had to choose. Her natural instinct is to want to take all of them - keep them close to her - protect them from others who might not care for them in the same loving way she would. But, in the case of my teapots, it just isn't practical to take them all with me.

Afterall, I am not going to be settling into one place and staying there for more than three or six months just now. And, I certainly know that the more times I pack and unpack those china teapots, the more chances there are for breakage or loss.
And so, it seems as though I find myself standing in front of my teapot collection on a daily basis. Remembering how each of them came into my life. Pondering what their beauty brings to my soul and my kitchen. And reflecting on times shared with others in the enjoyment of each teapot. How to choose? Perhaps letting their stories guide me to the selection will also result in the creation of the teapot tales... I'd like to think so!

Some days it seems that a few of them are shrinking back into the recesses of their display... hiding... not wanting to be wrapped in old newsprint any more... not wanting to be uprooted from the comfortable nitch they have found for themselves. While others seem to be shouting "pick me! pick me!"

My days here in Florida are numbered. ELEVEN to be exact! During the next few of those eleven days, I need to listen carefully to what each of those teapots is telling me. I need to choose wisely so that I can spend those "honeymoon days" of time in Tennessee with the one that will bring me enough comfort to last til I can have the whole collection with me once again.
And, I need to jot down a few notes so that I can continue with the teapot tales once I am at liberty to while away my days and nights entertaining my muse - with tea of course! (Stay tuned for the teapot tales as they unfold to my muse and she whispers them in my ear on the cool autumn nights!)

Cabin Fever

2006-09-04T18:38:00.000-04:00

It happens every year about this time - the Florida version of cabin fever. For the most part, I have always attributed it to the fact that, by September, it has been three months or more since it was pleasant enough to have the windows open. Fresh air seems like a figment of my imagination by this time of year here. The stale air of air conditioning is a way of life. And the outside air at nearly 100% humidity most days is so thick that it is beyond oppressive.

This year it's different, however. This year, it is just as hot and humid. The long stretch of closed windows and air conditioned rooms is real. But, this year, I am on the verge of escaping this September cabin fever and my tolerance is tempered by knowing that in a matter of two weeks I will be in Tennessee.

I searched on line today and discovered that it is only in the mid-70's in Kingsport these days. More importantly, I read that the humidity is only in the 60-70% range and the temperatures reportedly are dipping into the 50's at night. I can almost feel the air blowing through open windows, a feel of freshness to the air and nighttime temps that are ripe for "good sleeping weather."

I'm in the process of packing to make the move. And, since this is the first step in the process of creating a new life, I am limited as to just how much I can / should take with me this time. Some things will need to stay behind permanently. Others can be sent to me later. For right now, the essentials and a few things to help me create my own sacred and creative spaces (and of course my two kitties) are about all that are going to fit in my car.

As I sorted through my clothing, I realized that I was choosing some items to take based on the fact that I know the temperatures will be changing to the cooler fall weather soon. Other items were picked to stay behind because for the first time in nearly 30 years I found myself thinking that I won't be needing sandals and white clothing because it is after Labor Day! Honestly!

When I first moved to Florida, it took me a few years to shake that notion that my Gramm had so well ingrained in me as I was growing up in Pennsylvania. And once I got used to the idea that shorts, sleeveless tops, sandals and WHITE could be worn year-round it became second nature. But there was always the longing to wear sweaters, fall colors, and layers for fashion as well as comfort. I know that some will find this to be an odd sort of longing but from a 'fall gal at heart' it is as real as any longing I have ever felt.

In another month or so, I may be shivering under those fall clothing layers. But the one thing you won't find me doing is closing all the windows and throwing on some unnatural way of climate control. Nor will you find me complaining about the cooler weather. I look forward to it with all the enthusiasm of a child waiting for Christmas!

Of Weddings, Hurricanes, Contracts and Resignations

2006-08-27T09:41:00.000-04:00

Alot can happen in ten days! Just ask me, I know!
That's about how long it's been since I last posted to creative4seasons. But, believe me, it was not for lack of desire to do so. Things are going at warp speed here all of a sudden. For so long I felt as though I was stuck in mud - well, maybe quicksand because I felt as though I was being pulled down, down, down. And now, in the matter of a few days, change is all around me.

Last Saturday (August 19th) my youngest daughter, Mandy married the love of her life - her Lee (Scott Lee Lewis) - the young man who has been by her side for eight years now... the father of Miss KelseyRose... one of my 'sons' for far longer than he has officially been married into the family.

They rented the upper deck of the Naples Princess for a sunset dinner cruise with the captain to marry them. A gutsy move for the middle of August which is also the middle of hurricane season. And, while they did have some rain, they didn't let the weather dampen their spirits. It was a delightful evening. Even the dolphins came out to wish them well. Several of them romped in the water, riding the wake created by the Naples Princess. A couple of them jumped up as if to wish the bride and groom a lifetime of happiness.

There is an old Florida wives' tale that says that if it rains on your wedding day it means good luck. And the Florida fishermen say that dolphins accompanying you on your journey mean safe passage and good luck.

So, I'd say that Mandy and her Lee have been dealt a double dose of good luck as they start their lives as husband and wife.

About the same time I was finishing up the final stages of contract negotiation for my job as a travel nurse. My contract with the agency and its client in Kingsport, TN officially begins on September 18th. That means I will be in TN before the leaves change and will get to enjoy fall like I have not been able to do in thirty years or so!

I have turned in my three-week notice and have already worked one of those three weeks. I have begun to make lists of things to do, people to contact, items to pack or discard, loose ends to tie up... there is no end to what my mind can wander to these days!

There's a new bounce in my step - a lightness of being. It is called contentment. It is called anticipation of changes that can be nothing but good. It is called taking care of ME for a change!

Even the threat of a visit from Hurricane Ernesto cannot dampen my spirit right now... Of course, if Ernesto decides that Southwest Florida is his intended destination I may change my tune. I had so hoped to be out of Hurricane Alley before a major storm came through the area. Now it appears as though that may not be the case. Time will tell. Hurricanes are fickle. Weather patterns are unpredictable. Mother Nature has a mind of her own.
And I have my sights set on Tennessee in the next two and a half weeks no matter what comes my way between now and then. As I said, alot can happen in a matter of days!

Tennessee Bound

2006-08-16T07:15:00.000-04:00

Did you know that the fastest way to get to Tennessee is by cloud 9? Or so it seems to me this morning!

Yesterday I got a life-changing call. The call I have been dreaming of and wishing for for quite a while now...

"My new best friend Jim the Recruiter" called to say that the hospital in Kingsport TN has offered me the travel nurse position. Do I even need to tell you, my dear readers, what my answer was? Of course not! I said "Yes" - with barely a second thought! The answer was out of my mouth before I even had the time to really process what was happening.

Only after I hung up did I actually FEEL the impact of that phone call. Heart pounding out of my chest, joy rushing through my veins, mind racing with any number of thoughts, tears of happiness trying to surface. But wait! I was at work - at the job I am trying to put behind me.... Quickly, somehow or other, I put myself in check and carried on with "business as usual" But, believe me it was NOT easy!

I could barely contain myself. I wanted to open the window and announce it to the rest of the world "I'm going to TN soon!" But, I couldn't. I had to act like nothing had changed. And I have to continue to do so for another day or two at least. Until I get an actual start date, I cannot plan my departure from Florida. And until I know that, I cannot give my notice at my present job.

Do you think I am going to be able to cover up my joy? Doubtful. I am going to have to dig deep and find some of those acting skills I used in high school plays so many years ago... at least for the time being.

But, even while acting the part at work today, my feet will NOT be firmly planted on the ground - for I am floating on Cloud 9 and my heart is already in TN - because Caleb is already in TN.

When I stop to think that in a matter of a month or less I will be in the same state as (within an hour's drive from) Caleb AND be in a place that will allow me to experience Mother Nature's splendor this autumn it is almost more than I can stand! It seems too good to be true - but this time it IS true! Proof that dreams DO come true and that good things come to those who wait... And boy have I been dreaming and waiting! Now I am about to start living - like I have never lived before! I hope you'll share in that life with me! Stay tuned for the next chapter in my new story.

** Can you find Kingsport on the map above? Right up there on the northeastern state line... right near Virginia... "Nestled in the Great Smoky and Appalachian Mtns" that's what the website had to say about it... And so, I am about to be nestled in those mountains as well! I can't wait!

Dominoes - Part 2

2006-08-11T11:32:00.000-04:00

If you have been reading my blog entries, you'll recall one titled "Dominoes." It addressed the steps in the process to getting myself to Tennessee and a new life...

Well, as of yesterday a couple more dominoes have tumbled down - slowly but surely we are whittling away at all of them and before you know it, the game will end and I will have won!

Tuesday, I gained a "new best bud" in the form of a recruiter (Jim) at one of the travel agencies. He offered me the opportunity to interview at two locations in Eastern Tennessee - "nestled in between the Great Smoky Mountains and the Appalachian Mountains" Now, doesn't that just sound like the greatest location for someone who is wanting to experience nature and the 4 seasons?!

The "official" Tennessee nursing license arrived in the mail Wednesday. Now, I am 100% legal. I can practice as an RN in Tennessee until April 30, 2009 at which time I can continue to do so as long as I renew the license. No more waiting for the TN State Board of Nursing to process any paperwork. It has all been processed and I am holding onto the most precious paper of all.

Then, yesterday (Thursday) afternoon I received a phone call from one of the nurse managers in a hospital in Kingsport TN. She and I spoke briefly. We are to talk again today at which time we will both decide if a position on her unit is a good fit. She is from one of the hospitals the "Recruiter Jim - my new best bud" referred to when we spoke previously.

And, today (Friday) I had a followup with my oncologist who has given me the "all clear" to go from a health standpoint. The latest PET Scan is stable. The bloodwork is normal and best of all there is no evidence of disease ("NED" in medical jargon)... So, NED means no MEL (melanoma in Lee's jargon) and with NED but no MEL to hold me back I am "ready for take-off."

And just a moment ago, as I was typing this entry, my phone rang. Expecting it to be the nurse manager from Kingsport I was disappointed (but only for a moment) to NOT hear a distinctly southern accent. The caller was another recruiter from another travel company. She now has a position in Knoxville that she would like me to interview for if I have not yet taken a position elsewhere!

Two weeks ago, they were acting like I was too old and too far removed from acute care nursing to even give me the time of day. But all of a sudden things are moving along at nearly warp speed. Just one more reason to believe that this plan is absolutely the right thing to be doing right now! Synchronicity is alive and well and is pulling me towards Tennessee.

Choo-choo me home...

2006-08-04T10:35:00.000-04:00

Just like the people standing on Lookout Mountain in TN, I have been standing on the spot that allows me to look out and see new horizons in all directions. They say that from atop Lookout Mountain a person can see seven states. I hope to one day soon be able to write an entry for this blog that will attest to that fact - and showcase a few of my own images from what I imagine to be a most spiritual spot on this earth.

But for now, I have been passing my days looking out from my own pinnacle - waiting for the moment when I know that my views are no longer dreams but realities. In every direction, I see signs that the plan to move to TN is the right plan. In my dreams I see the seasons changing and the creativity abounding. In my most precious dreams - the ones I savor each day and wish to relive each night, I see Caleb and I exploring the place I plan to call home soon. Today, some of the dreaming can come to a halt and real life can take over... I have been waiting for an all-important piece of mail that will give me the signal to put all those dreams and hopes into actions NOW!

The envelope arrived today! The prize that I have been waiting for! Opening that envelope was better than being told I'd won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes! Its contents are more precious to me than a million dollar prize...

It's official. I am now the proud recipient of a Tennessee Board of Nursing Permit allowing me to practice as an RN in Tennessee! YES!!

When I saw the return address on the ordinary business envelope I found myself holding my breath. After so many starts and stops and "hurry up and wait" sessions, I fully expected to find yet one more bit of unfinished business that I needed to attend to before they could consider granting me the permit.

For a moment, as I slowly opened the envelope, a mix of emotions surged through my veins. The emotions were not totally unfamiliar - they were just ones that I hadn't experienced in a very long time - over 30 years to be exact. Once I had the envelope open and the contents were in my hand, I realized that I was reliving the same feelings I had the day my first nursing license arrived. The day I officially became an RN and could start to fulfill the dream that had been mine for so long.

And now, more than 30 years later, here I am, opening an envelope that holds the opportunity to start yet another new life that will allow me to fulfill my most passionate dream yet: The dream to live once again where there are 4seasons...the dream to live a creative life and be healthy and happy in the process...the dream to live closer to Caleb once again.

I probably stared at that permit letter for a good ten minutes or more. Carefully reading every word for a second, third and fourth time - just to be sure I really was now permitted to be an RN in Tennessee... Making sure I didn't misinterpret something. But, sure enough - No catches this time. I am "IN"!

Now I can work at securing a job and a new address - one that will have me seeing the turning leaves of autumn and the first winter snowfall I've experienced in a terribly long long time.

As I flitted around the house - and that is what it was - flitting! I don't remember feeling this light and care-free in quite some time...
As I flitted around the house, a tune started running through my head. I can't shake it... "Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo-Choo?"

Now, I don't intend to get to Tennessee by train... and at this point, there is no telling which town or city I will call home next - perhaps Chattanooga, perhaps somewhere else in Tennessee... but for now, I close my eyes and I see the fantasy of the Chattanooga Choo-choo springing to life in my mind's eye. I see it (me) as the little engine that could. I see it (me) crossing through the same area where families fought for opposing sides in the Civil War. I see it (me) winning the battles of my own sort of civil war by standing up for myself, for being who I am and not apologizing for that. I see it (me) marking progress toward the state of Tennessee by the cities and towns that dot the map between here and there... I see my "train station" - the place I will embark on a new life - as a place to shed tears of joy and to announce that I am finally home...

"Chattanooga Choo-Choo won't you choo-choo me home...."

Rosie, Gramm and Me

2006-07-30T18:29:00.000-04:00

For as far back as I can remember first hearing of "Rosie the Riveter" I was fascinated by her. That feisty look in her eye. The bold stance and that "can-do-attitude" of hers intrigued me.

The American icon for women in the workplace, and eventually the femininst movement, Rosie has a special meaning to those who happen to have their very own "Rosie the Riveter" in the family. Rosies were the women who did a man's job while the men were off to war during WWII. Across the country, factories turned out munitions thanks to the tireless efforts of American women in the workforce.

Despite my fascination with "Rosie" it never dawned on me that I grew up in the midst of one such Rosie. Not more than a few years ago, I was telling my mother about some kitchen linens that I had purchased in the Rosie the Riveter theme. Upon hearing this, Mom announced "Your Gramm was one of the Rosies, you know."

"No Mom, I didn't know." Gramm was a very private woman in that respect. For all the years that I was growing up and visiting my beloved Gramm, I only knew her to be a homemaker - a very good one at that. I had no idea she ever worked outside the home and I certainly had no clue that she had helped in the war efforts by doing night work at the Army Depot that was at the far end of my childhood town.

I credit Gramm with much of what I know about homemaking, practically all I know about cooking and baking, and every last bit of what I know about being a good grandmother to my own grands. She was a wonderful Gramm - I loved spending time with her. My playtime was actually love time and learning time - I just didn't know it while it was happening.

I am not much like my mother but I am a lot like her mother - my Gramm. From my love of cooking and baking, to my enjoyment of African Violets on the kitchen window sill and especially in my passion for being a grandma the kids will love to spend time with as they grow older, I am my Gramm.

Now that I know of her work as a Rosie the Riveter, I see that she and I share yet one more trait. That "can-do-attitude" of Rosie's. It was Gramm's attitude too. She was a simple woman who loved the simple joys in life and knew deep within her being how to make the most of life no matter what hand she was dealt.

The Rosie trait skipped a generation. My mom doesn't possess it... or at least I am not aware of it. She is not the "can-do-gal" that I am. And obviously she is not the can-do-gal that Gramm was. But, I am ever so thankful for the fact that Rosie's attitudes rested deep within me!

Without Rosie's traits, it is possible I would never have been able to face some of the obstacles that have been thrown in my path. Rosie's can-do-attitude was surely there when I fought to go to nursing school against my parents' wishes. Her attitude was there when I announced that I was moving out of Pennsylvania back in the early '70's. And it was definitely what saved my life when I decided that I could make it own my own as a single mom of three young girls - but that I couldn't survive if I stayed in the abusive relationship. Throughout the years, Rosie's self-confidence and empowering message have woven a thread through my very core.

It is Rosie's attitude that has helped me deal with the recurrent melanoma and find a reason to go on. It is Rosie's attitude that gave me the necessary strength to face raising my premature grandson, Caleb for the first four and a half years of his life. And Rosie absolutely must have been there when I mustered up the courage to hand him over to his birth father when the courts sided with him instead of me.

And now, as I prepare to start a whole new life as a woman in mid-life, I find that Rosie's strength, can-do-attitude and empowering images buoy me up when the roadblocks appear and they greet me on the other side of the roadblock when I have turned that power into action to move forward.

Rosie will be my companion as I venture into the land of 4seasons - I have no fear or doubt. With Rosie (and my Gramm's spirit) to guide me, I know that my future life is destined to be "the time of my life" - or is it "the time of my living" ?

Thanks Gramm!
Thanks Rosie!

Dominoes

2006-07-26T06:48:00.000-04:00

Monday's mail finally brought the nursing school transcript I've been waiting for! That was the last hold out for the State Board of Nursing in TN -
I do believe. Now they have all that they need (and probably more) to verify that I am, indeed, an RN who has been practicing as such for over thirty years. Once they deem me worthy - ummm - qualified, I should be on my way to TN!

I need to have their "temporary permit" in hand before I can negotiate for a job...

I need a job before I can negotiate a start date...

I need a start date before I can negotiate a resignation date from my current job...

I need a resignation date before I can negotiate a moving date....

One thing depends on the next but at last I feel as though the dominoes have been put in motion and it is just a matter of time before they all come tumbling down!

Seems like it is time to start turning my attention to things like packing up non-essentials, down-sizing, etc.

I'm already excited about the prospects of the new life that awaits me in the land of 4 seasons! Imagine how much more excited I am going to be once all of those negotiations have taken place and the dominoes have all toppled!

Check back often for the status of this all-important domino game that is my life and my future!

What Took You So Long, Girls?

2006-07-22T17:00:00.000-04:00

Maggie and Callee have been my little feline companions for quite some time now. Each has a unique personality and temperment. Each is precious to me in their own way. But neither one has been very tolerant of the other... until today.

Maggie, a long haired domestic cat, was a little feral kitten when I brought her home. Those first few days had me thinking that I had made a huge mistake... That there was no taming of a feral cat...That I would have to make a decision between keeping a cat who didn't want to be near people or letting her go back into the wild (or give her to the animal shelter where she was sure to meet her demise as a feral cat).

But, after a few days of patience and hopefulness, Maggie climbed up into my lap and wormed her way into my heart. She has been the best little lap kitty I have ever owned. Her six years with me have been bliss for both of us! Short for Magpie, Maggie is appropriately named because she chatters constantly. Her role in my creative life is that of "My Kitty Muse"
When typing at the keyboard, Maggie is there to observe and keep me company. When searching for just the right images to create a SoulCollage card or do some altered book project, Maggie delights in being in the center of the papers, ribbons, and other colorful arts and crafts materials.

Callee (a combination of my name and that of my grandson, Caleb's and my pen name when I choose not to write as myself) was a gift when I was recouperating from the second surgery for melanoma - October 2004.

She had been found wandering the streets when she was barely old enough to be away from her mother. After a brief stay at the Emergency Pet Hospital where my daughter Mandy works, she was declared healthy and ready for a new home. Mandy thought perhaps the little siamese kitten was just the pick-me-up I needed at a very difficult time. Mandy was right - but Maggie didn't agree!

For nearly two years, the two cats have tolerated one another - barely. They share the same home and the same human mom but that has been the extent of their willingness to be 'together' -- until today! I happened upon a very unusal and delightful sight just a bit ago and was fortunate enough to grab a shot of it before they change their minds about this thing called togetherness.

Here they are, curled up on top of the recliner -- not bothered by their close proximity for the first time ever! I didn't think I'd ever see them this close unless they were wrestling or hissing at one another.

Maybe the lazy rainy day has them feeling as mellow as I feel. Maybe the fact that I have been playing music and doing all manner of creative work today has added an air of contentment to the house. Perhaps they have finally figured out what I have tried to teach them all along -- They really are fine together. They each are sweet in their own way. They both mean the world to me. And, it is okay to curl up and be lazy together. That's what rainy Saturdays were made for afterall!

Snail Mail

2006-07-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

Snail mail is alive and well ! If I had any doubt about that, this week's mail wiped all doubts away... Well, almost all ...

True, there is still one all-important piece of snail mail that eludes me. (The Tennessee State Board of Nursing License) But, after today, I have to believe that it won't be long before I hold that elusive envelope in my hands as well.

Over the past several months, the contents of my mailbox have become my lifeline... There are the individual packages from my altered book round robin friends. These packages hold the most marvelous gifts of personal art and inspiration...each book entrusted to the rest of the group AND to the postal service. Each time I post my own art work or that of my "sisters-in-altered-book- projects" I hold my breath. I can't rest comfortably until I receive word (via e-mail NOT snail mail) that the book has reached its next destination.

At the moment, I am waiting for two such altered book projects: the final one in this round robin which belongs to Susan who lives in Germany & my very own slated to come home after its trip around the world: Germany, France, and the U.S.

Then there are the myriad of "Swap-bot" mailings. I was recently introduced to Swap-bot by a new cyber friend who does SoulCollage cards. In responding to one of my SoulCollage posts, I found a link to her blog, visited it and saw an exciting opportunity to share some of my own craft bits and pieces and perhaps get some new/different items in return. The swap process has offered a previously untapped resource for supplies for my various altered and collage art projects. Each day is an adventure in the mailbox when I am in the midst of another great swap! Postcards from around the world, plastic bottles filled with various and sundry "stuff" for creative projects, envelopes filled with ribbons/trims/papers .. you name it, there's a swap for it. And, in most cases, the only cost is a bit of time and the price of a stamp! What a bargain and so much fun!!

An unexpected card or note from one of my two dear friends, AnnMarie and Judy, always manages to brighten my day. They seem to somehow know just when I need to find them waiting in my mailbox! Sometimes I chuckle because their mail arrives just about the time they should be receiving a similar item from me. We are so in tune with the rhythm of life - but then, that's what soul sisters are all about, right?

But the prize this week was the letter from Caleb. My dear sweet grandson (who is turning SIX on the 27th of this month) moved to TN about six weeks ago. It has been a very L-O-N-G six weeks! It seems like an eternity since I last snuggled up with him on the couch to read a book. And even longer since I was able to hug him while telling him how much I love him.

My emotions rode the proverbial rollercoaster when I saw an envelope bearing his return address earlier this week. I was elated. Tearing open the envelope, I couldn't wait to read the contents. And, as anyone who knows me will attest, in true form, as I read his sweet little letter, I was moved to tears. Grandmas are like that, you know - we cry for all sorts of things both happy and sad. This was one of those times when the tears were bittersweet. I was thrilled to get a letter from him. I was touched by the sweetness and innocence of his words. I was saddened by the geographical distance that separates us right now. I was up and then I was down and then I was up again... All over the map as they say!

Chasing down the hall, I couldn't wait to share the letter with anyone who would take the time to read it and share in my joy. Secretly, I counted the days that it has been since Caleb and I were together... and the years that I was with him all the time... and weighed the enormity of the hole in my heart that has been created by his move.

Then, in the next breath, I reminded myself that I am working toward an eventual move to be closer to him and to be in the midst of Mother Nature in all of her glory each of the four seasons.

After raising Caleb for the first four and a half years of his now six year life, it is hard to be so far away from him. But, after raising him for all that time, it is also very comforting to know that he and I share a very special bond that no time or distance can erase.

I am thrilled that he and I can continue to stay connected - whether it be in the form of email, snail mail or phone calls until we are once again in the same location. And, in the meantime, I will continue to go to my mailbox in hopeful anticipation of another reason to smile and laugh and cry all in the same breath.

Passions Breed Other Passions...

2006-07-16T21:21:00.000-04:00

If someone had told me that becoming a writer or a mixed medium artist would alter the way I saw and experienced reading and art, I would have laughed at the thought! And if I had been told that, in fact, I would experience my whole world through a new set of eyes and ears, I know I would have dismissed the idea in no time at all.

But... 'tis true indeed! When I began writing in earnest, I discovered that I was still a voracious reader. But, my choice of reading materials has changed. And worse(or perhaps it's better?), my "writer's eyes and ears" are in overdrive throughout most of my reading experiences. I search for voice and place in each book. With little to no effort, I find myself picking up on errors in syntax, grammar and spelling.

Likewise, my favorite "public pasttime" of people-watching took on new meaning once I began writing. I listen to the way people communicate with one another. I watch body language. I memorize physical characteristics and mannerisms... All in an effort to become an observer of the obvious and the subtle differences in people -- so that my characters will one day be real... alive... vibrant.

A walk in the park or along the beach is a delight for the five senses ... I find gifts of Mother Nature that lend themselves to my art. I see, hear, smell and feel things that weave their way into my stories: the feel of the ocean breeze, the smell of spring rain, the shrill cry of the gulls, the colors of the rainbow. Life is more alive and every ounce of me is aware of that as I walk. No matter how many times I walk the same path, each time is a new experience that holds the potential for more story lines or artistic renderings.

When I became involved in creating SoulCollage cards and doing altered books, my artistic eye changed from an admirer to a "dreamer and a do-er". A trip to the craft store for one item now finds me always alert to new items or concepts that might be tried in one of my altered books. A stroll through the fabric store has me spending most of my time admiring and/or choosing unique ribbons or buttons for embellishment of my art.

Visits to the used book stores now become adventures for not only reading but for art use as well. My grandmother would shudder at the thought of my altered book activites. "Books are our friends." "We never ever turn down the corner of a book or write in a book." How many times did I hear those comments as I was growing up? Now, I look for books to turn into works of art. But, let me say right here and now that I do not take books that have value and life in them and destroy them... I rescue books that are doomed for the dumpster and revive them! So, Gramm can rest in peace and I can do my art in peace and the world is a happier place for it!

And forget EVER viewing a magazine in the same fashion ever again! Now, as I read a journal or magazine, I do so once for the content that is of interest to me. But that experience is only a prelude to the time I spend reviewing the images in the magazines -- looking for the one or two that seem to jump off the page. Sometimes they speak to me immediately and I know exactly what I am to do with them. Sometimes, they capture my attention or my imagination and I have no earthly idea how or when they will come in handy. All I know is that I cannot let them go by the wayside. Who could have guessed that I would one day find it necessary to have a pair of scissors handy each time I sat down with a magazine? Certainly not I!

Today a friend asked me if all of this doesn't make my passions less enjoyable to me now. I guess she was thinking that these changes in how I approach life make what I love more like work and less like play. But, that is the farthest thing from the truth. In fact, the way I approach the books I read, the art I do, the trips to the art and fabric stores has made each of these more enjoyable ... more enriching... and best of all, it has opened up that creative spot in my soul that is a thirsty sponge waiting to soak up every ounce of creativity that comes its way. Maybe that is what passion is all about. I'd like to think so.

Summer Reading Comes Full Circle

2006-07-13T06:07:00.000-04:00

It's no secret to those who know me - I love to read! Most times, I have at least two or three books going at the same time. Sometimes, however, I find that a book is so engaging I simply must lend all of my available reading time to that one 'great read'.

I have just experienced one such 'great read' - "Mockingbird: A Portrait of Harper Lee" by Charles J. Shields. Who among us has not read "To Kill a Mockingbird" as an assigned reading for school?

For me, "To Kill a Mockingbird" was one of those books I took out of our small town library one summer - long before it would become required reading. I read it all day under the big oak tree out back. When the sun set and 'lights out' was imposed, I continued to read it - under the covers by flashlight. But I always had one ear listening for the sound of a creak in the steps which would signal Daddy was on his way upstairs. That creak was my signal to (temporarily) turn the flashlight off and feign sleep until the coast was clear.

There are only a few books that I feel compelled to re-read multiple times. Charles Dickens' "Tale of Two Cities" runs a close second to "To Kill a Mockingbird." Marion Zimmer Bradley's "The Mists of Avalon" and Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Gifts of the Sea" follow close behind the two classics.

I can't tell you the number of times I've read Harper Lee's classic. I've lost track. "To Kill a Mockingbird" is one of my all-time-favorite books! And, while I am not usually a fan of movies based on books, the movie version of Harper Lee's tale of life in a small Southern town ranks among my favorite movies as well.

This being said, it should come as no surprise that when I saw "Mockingbird" on the shelf, I couldn't resist. From the very first page, I was 'had'! Too bad if anyone or anything required my undivided attention while I was reading "Mockingbird"! That just wouldn't be happening because I did not want to pry myself away from the pages of this wonderful read.

It must have been an incredibly daunting task to undertake - the telling of Harper Lee's life. A task made even more daunting because she is still alive and did not participate in the telling of her story. I cannot imagine how great the desire to please and to "get it right" when crafting a book about someone's life. But I really cannot imagine doing so for a person who looms larger than life to many in the literary world!

Reading "Mockingbird" has not only left me in awe of the woman behind one of my favorite books of all time, it has conjured up a host of nostalgic memories of a childhood long gone. Reading it has sent me to the video store to search out the movie once again and caused me to pull my well-worn copy of Harper Lee's book down from the shelf so that I can re-read it. Doing so will no doubt bring another flood of childhood memories. But one thing's for sure! This time around I won't have to hide under the covers with a flashlight - but perhaps I will anyway! Just for the fun of it! Once more for old time's sake!

Just Once Before I Move

2006-07-09T17:27:00.000-04:00

How many years have I lived in southwest Florida? Nearly 30! After such a long time, you'd think I would have seen and done all that I ever dreamed of doing here in the land of perpetual summer. But, now that I am thinking of relocating to a place with 4 seasons, I find that I can name quite a few places I've "always wanted to go but just never made time"...

There is the Big Cypress Gallery filled with the black & white photographs of Clyde Butcher - the Ansel Adams of the Florida Everglades. Finally, just over the July 4th weekend, I made time to go there. And believe me, I was ever so glad that I did! What I would have missed had I not made time to go see for myself what the books and website can only elude to in the way of exquisite photos of the Everglades wilderness. You can get a taste of his work by visiting his website at www.clydebutcher.com.

Then there are places that are a bit farther away but still within the driving distance: St Augustine and Weekie Wachee where the mermaids live - no lie! Oh! Let's not forget the Coral Castle in Miami or the butterfly garden in Ft. Lauderdale. One more trip to Disney's Epcot Center would be nice and I hear that the Cypress Gardens has changed completely since I was there back in the '70's.

When my friend Judy came to visit recently she remarked "How great it must be to live so close to the beach and the water!" I didn't have the heart to tell her that until June when I had two rounds of company I couldn't tell you the last time I walked on the beach at sunset.

It isn't that I don't like to do such things. No, far from it. I draw great peace and strength from the pull of the tides. It isn't even my melanoma that prevents me from feeling comfortable about daytime visits in the intense and harmful sun. It is more about working hard, going full tilt- all day, every day- and never taking the time for renewal. It's about believing (no matter how erroneous that belief is) that the beach and gulf are always going to be there and that I will have all the time in the world to go back "some other day."

Why is it that when we live in a place we begin to take its attractions and its natural beauty for granted? Maybe we just figure that we have all the time in the world to get there. Maybe we just never seem to be able to make time in our over-scheduled daytimers. Maybe we never truly appreciate what we have until we are on the verge of losing it.

Once a person has been through two bouts with a life threatening disease such as I have, you quickly reassess your views on what is important and what can wait. You learn that you should never put off til tomorrow ... and you realize that our time in any one place is temporary. For that reason alone, we should all make time in our busy schedules to be UNscheduled and to do the things that bring us joy and fill our souls with goodness.

One thing's for sure - for the rest of the time I live here in Florida - no matter how many or how few those days may be, I am going to do all of the things I said I would do when I first moved here all those years ago. When I get to the place where 4 seasons abound, I don't want to have any regrets about the list of places and sights I never made time to go see.

Embarking on another new adventure

2006-07-08T14:21:00.000-04:00

Entering this first post to my new creative4seasons blog is yet one more new adventure for me. For some reason the idea of setting up and managing a blog was a bit intimidating. But, as my creative network expands, it seemed as though it was time for me to step up to the challenge.

And so, here I am with my own blog - a place that I hope will provide others with a window on my creative world. I hope that you enjoy what you will find here as the days, weeks and four seasons pass by. And, I hope that you will come back and visit often.