But, alas, this was not to happen. I had a message waiting for me on Thursday - his step-mom called to say that he was being kept home because he hadn't behaved well during the week. To say that I was disappointed would be a huge understatement. To admit that I spent hours crying about the lost opportunity and sobbing about the aching hole in my heart that is Caleb's absence from my life these days... well, that would be more like it.
Not sure what to do with a three day weekend that had succombed to that age old "best laid plans" theory, Friday morning found me just as melancholy as I had been on Thursday evening. Feeling more than a little out of sorts about the whole thing, it was difficult for me to see past this change in plans. But, bless her heart, my daughter Mandy had just the right solution to my now empty three day weekend.
By 10:30 a.m. I found myself on I-81 heading north - North to Pennsylvania. North to visit my parents, sister and sister's family. I had been meaning to get around to doing just that for some time now. Mandy knew that. "Mom, why don't you just do it!" she suggested, sounding very much like a Nike commercial. And so, "do it" I did! And I am so very glad!
The drive from here to there is a full 8 hours of driving but it is all on I-81 so it is not a difficult trip. Just a lonely one to make all by one's self. But, I did it. The queen of planning ahead did something impromptu! A rather big impromptu undertaking!
In Pennsylvania, I found winter - the kind of winter that I am still awaiting here in Tennessee. Snow and ice on sidewalk edges. Grass peeking through the bits of white on the ground. Stingingly cold days and howling winds at night... But, amid all of the cold that is winter, I found warmth like none I'd experienced in a long time... the warmth of family.
It had been about 10 months since I last saw my parents and two years since Lisa and I were together last. Her very active five children were very excited to visit with Aunt Lee. Aunt Lee was very excited to visit with them too!
Without my knowing it, Lisa called my oldest brother, Thom (three years younger than I) and invited him to drive up from New Jersey while I was there. He was only too willing to oblige. It had been, afterall, 23 years since he and I had seen one another!! We've talked on the phone and visited with the help of e-mails but to actually SEE one another, it had been a very long time -- too long.
The time spent with Thom, Lisa and her family, and my parents was probably one of the best weekends I have had in quite some time. Conversation around a kitchen table never felt so welcomed ... so warm. Hugs never felt so sincere between us. The gift of family is indeed a precious one. In my family's home, I found warmth in winter -- enough warmth to carry me back to Tennessee with less of a heart ache for the lost time with Caleb and much joy for time spent with others in my family.
Mom, Daddy and Me (in the middle)
02-11-2007
Camp Hill, Pennsylvania
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