Knit one, purl one...

It all started a few weeks ago when I realized I was missing the feel of fabric and the whir of the sewing machine. I was longing to quilt but knew that, as a travel RN, it is next to impossible for me to drag my sewing machine with me. Perhaps one day Santa or the Tooth Fairy or some such individual will gift me with a nice light-weight portable machine that is capable of quilting but for now, my machine is old and heavy and impossible to move every 13 week contract.

For a few days I moped around feeling sorry for my creative self. Sorry that I wasn't in the same location as my machine. Sorry that I wanted to be handling fabric or doing something that was not strictly word related. (Don't get me wrong, words are still my passion and I love to read and write but there is another side of me that has to FEEL the process in a tangible sort of way sometimes.) Then, that small inner voice that sometimes goes unnoticed started whispering in my ear. She reminded me that a friend (and sister Story Circle member) had once said that I could probably find a knitting shop and classes here in the Johnson City TN area. Armed with a new plan for tactile creative fulfillment, I did a wee bit of research and found Yarntiques ( http://yarntiques.com/) and the rest is history!

Owner Candace Powell Baldwin is a patient soul who knows just the right way to fix a mistake or bolster a sagging knitter confidence level. The shop is a warm and welcoming old Victorian home in downtown Johnson City. Just stepping in the front door is a treat! Spending time with Candace and the women who frequent the shop is an incomparable delight!!

I recently told that same Story Circle friend who had suggested the knitting classes before that being in the Yarntiques shop with those women is akin to writing in the writing circle. There is a bond that forms easily and naturally. There are common experiences and interests and there are unique qualities but all blend together with ease. In two short weeks I have come to feel like part of the group instead of an outsider or a newcomer. It's a comfortable feeling. And it was just what I needed to whisk away those frustrations over not being able to quilt or do something otherwise creative with my hands. And what great (and cheap) therapy a session around the knit table can be!!

A self-taught knitter who never ventured outside the very safe realm of scarves and baby blankets (no shaping or fancy stitches required) I really didn't know if I had it in me to make anything more than those straight edged items. But in the past two weeks, Candace has proven to me that I can and will be able to do anything I choose! My first project is a light-weight sleeveless sweater that I will likely finish this week and can still wear this season. The second project - a sweater coat of sorts - is underway and will come in handy in a short while when the cool autumn breezes blow through here. I drool over the yummy yarn we (Candace and I) have chosen for it.

So now when I don't get back to the blog for days or weeks on end, it may be because of a work schedule that doesn't allow much time for such things as writing. But more likely it is because some new knitting project has grabbed me and just won't let go!

Temporarily Grounded

Last week I fell and broke my foot! And for those who know me, it comes as no surprise that I am greatly put out that I am temporarily grounded - no hill climbing, hiking, exploring wooded areas... Can you hear the huge sigh that accompanies that statement? The only saving graces here are that (a) this happens to be the most hot and humid time of year here so it isn't as pleasant outside as it usually is and (b) I have plenty of books to read, yarn to knit and stories to write so boredom isn't inevitable.



I am still working my twelve hour shifts at the hospital. Don't get me wrong, it would be better if I didn't but there is this little thing called health insurance that is only available if one works her contracted hours...so... Need I say more?



I fell Thursday and promptly turned around and worked three twelve hour shifts in a row (OUCH!) on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Today I am off and have given in to the desire to do "as little as possible." My tecnicolor foot has been elevated much of the day. (I joked with my dad earlier today that at least the foot is in my favorite colors -- varying shades of blues and greens and purples) And while staying off of the foot, I've managed to do a fair amount of writing plus a bit of reading, watched a video and soon I plan to pick up the knitting needles.



I knew that I had to do the other things before the knitting needles came out of the bag because once they are in hand all else goes by the wayside! With the rest of the afternooon and evening ahead of me, I should have plenty of time to work on finishing one project and logging (um, knitting) some time on a second project. It's truly addictive, that sound of knitting needles and the feel of the fibers between your fingers. Maybe being temporarily grounded isn't such a bad thing afterall.

A Boy and His PopPop

Earlier this month two of the important "men" in my life visited here in Johnson City, TN. I picked Caleb up earlier in the day so that we could have some special one-on-one "Caleb and Nan" time before going to Tri-Cities Airport to pick up Tim (aka PopPop).

Caleb and Tim hadn't seen one another since winter so they were both excited to be reunited. This photo is completely candid and I was delighted that I was able to capture it before someone moved out of the viewfinder.

They enjoyed being "guys" together -- cracking jokes, being silly, hiking, swimming, watching tv ... typical guy stuff. It warmed my heart to see them enjoying one another so much. But, what I wasn't prepared for was the intense competition between the two of them -- each one competing for my attention and getting more than a little jealous of the time and attention spent on the other one. Suddenly, my men were "boys" in the truest sense of the word.

In The Red Tent by Anita Diamant the main character, Dinah, speaks of the turmoil within her when she realizes that she is struggling to deal with "a mother's divided heart". While it has been quite some time since I read that wonderful book, that scene had a powerful and lasting impact on me. It expresses so well what I have felt time and time again when raising my own children. And now, this month, I again faced it when having to deal with a husband and a grandson who each felt that they, and they alone, should be granted my full and undivided attention.

It was great fun to see Tim and Caleb together (even if it was stressful and not so much fun to be the center of their rivalry) so I prefer to think back on the visit with images such as these... proof that they did have a good time - even if they had to share me!

Roan Mountain

Roan Mountain is not one single mountain but a high ridge about 5 miles long.
At the mountain top(Roan High Knob) one stands 6,285 feet high.
And that, my friends, is exactly where I stood yesterday! Closer to the sky than I have ever been with my feet firmly on the ground. It is a totally awesome view from the top of the mountain.

Roan Mountain, which is part of the Pisgah and the Cherokee National Forests, holds quite a rich history of its own. In the late 1800's General John T Wilder bought 7,000 acres along the top and sides of the mountain. Here he built a 20 room log inn near the summit of Roan High Knob. The log inn was eventually replaced by Cloudland Hotel which reportedly was quite luxurious for its time. The hotel operated for about 20 years but today there is next to no evidence that it even existed high atop this mountain. A marker at the spot of the once grand hotel asks passersby to 'try to imagine' ... I can't begin to imagine... What a vacation wonderland that would have been. No amusement rides necessary. Just cold springs, cool higher elevation temperatures, flora and fauna unlike anywhere else in the area and the peaceful beauty of Mother Nature at each glance.



At one point the Appalachian Trail crosses Roan Mountain. I encountered a couple of diligent Appalachian Trail hikers as they made their way south just as I was snapping this picture of the trail marker. They, I'm sure were taking in Mother Nature's wonder in their own chosen way but it seemed a shame to me that they hurried by at a rather quick pace. Maybe those who hike the trail do not need to stop and savor each and every moment like I do. Maybe they are so immersed in it that it becomes a part of them just naturally. For me, I need to stop and smell the proverbial roses every few steps along the way.

But, yesterday, it wasn't the smell of roses that wafted in the air. It was the scent of pine needles. Sun shining down through the canopy of trees created a dappled path underfoot. The buzzing of bees was LOUD! I mean really, really loud! It took me back to my childhood when a neighbor had bee hives. You could hear those honeybees buzzing for half a block away. But this was even louder than I remembered those bees sounding. I looked everywhere but saw none of the noisemakers. But I knew that they were nearby. There was no denying it.

Around a bend on the path at the top of Roan Mountain, I was greeted with a glorious sight. Rhododendrons (Rhododendron catawbiense to be exact) were in bloom everywhere I looked. I have never encountered such a natural garden in the middle of what I otherwise would call a forest. It was indescribable - overwhelming - amazing and it very much touched me to my core. I stood in awe of the blooms - hundreds of thousands of them - and soon realized that here was the location of those buzzing bees! Bumblebees!! Hundreds of thousands of them too, I am sure! On nearly every bloom that I could see there were at least one or two - sometimes three as in this shot. They were all very polite - each one claiming a spot but never trying to step into the other's. Their social skills are quite advanced I've decided. I watched the bumblebees for at least as long as I gazed at the incredible beauty of the flowers. Time stands still for me when I am in the midst of Mother Nature.

As I drove down narrow road leading off the mountain, I couldn't help but think that this place was definitely a creative's sanctuary. And, I made a vow to myself to return often - with pen and paper, or laptop, or recorder in hand -- and definitely with digicam -- so that I may soak up the beauty and wonder of the area and capture it in photos and in words. In these ways I hope to preserve my magical time on Roan Mountain long after my own memory fails me.

Appalachian Quilt Trail

Here in Northeastern Tennessee, there is a bit of history and creativity that is free for the viewing... The Appalachian Quilt Trail. Historic buildings (many of them old barns but there are a few general stores and covered bridges as well) proudly stand along roadsides in several of the surrounding counties adorned with painted images of old quilt patterns.

Now, I am an early American history buff. And, I love quilts! I have taken some very elementary quilting classes and have a whole closet full of materials that have been carefully coordinated for various quilting projects for one of these days when I get "round to it".... And, I love to explore the area each time I get a new job assignment.

So, add all of the above together and you have an outing (or in this case, quite a few outings) in the making.

Since the quilts are on private property and oft times along busy highways, it is not something one can do without time, patience and a sense of wonder.

There are over fifty quilts displayed on these old barns here in the five county region. I plan to make it my business to visit each and every one of them - and photograph them - before I leave this beautiful area of Northeast Tennessee.

Can it possibly be two months since last I posted?

Two months since the last post? !!! How can that be? I mean, seriously, I just took a "little break" and I was coming right back! Well...um... it appears as though a little break turned into a huge break -- and that is neither good for the writer nor the reader!

It is amazing to me that the momentum of posting can come to a screeching halt and all of a sudden I am weeks behind myself wondering how on earth I will ever catch up. I guess that the reality is that once I get so out of the routine, there is no catching up but there is always moving forward. And moving forward is exactly what I am planning to do here.

A lot has happened in the two months between my dandelion post and this one...
Perhaps the most important event was securing a 13 week contract in Johnson City TN at Johnson City Medical Center...which entailed a new job and a move to a new apartment in a matter of three days mid-May.

This new job has none of the trappings of the old job and all of the pleasure of what I have come to call a "dream assignment" - really! There is no such thing as mandatory overtime. The unit is well run and well staffed. The patient:nurse ratio is quite acceptable. There is not one thing I find difficult or discouraging about this assignment. And to think I could have been here several months ago instead of putting in my time in a place where the norm was four or five twelve hour shifts.

I actually have a life of my own outside of work now! And, the real plus is that I still have a reasonably close proximity to Caleb. My present location is only about 20 minutes east of the previous one so it is basically the same distance for me to go get or see Caleb.

And, of course, having Caleb time is a top priority - always!

Another "event" was that hubby dearest, Tim, was here for a week in May and has scheduled a flight for right after the July 4th holiday to come spend another week. After not being here from January to May it is nice to think that I'll actually get to see him in a relatively short space of time.

Altered art work, writing (of various sorts), Story Circle Network duties and delights, reading and my two sweet kitties continue to occupy my free time. And, with this present job there really and truly is free time. I remember for so many years saying "In my free time that I have none of" but now there IS that wonderful luxury and I am basking in it, believe you me! The one thing I neglected to put on the list of things to enjoy in that free time was this: to enjoy adding new posts to my blog! Neglected to do until today that is...

So, after what seems like a brief respite but in actuality has been far too long a break in blogging, I am back...
And as you will see in the next couple of posts, I am busy using my time off to explore and enjoy my new location.

Note to Readers

Dear Readers
For whatever reason, the dandelion post would NOT allow me to format it properly - even through multiple edit attempts. So I apologize for the lack of paragraphs and spacing. Heaven knows that I tried to make it more readable. Perhaps tomorrow it will let me reformat it on yet one more edit?

First Dandelion

The First Dandelion

Simple and fresh and fair from winter's close emerging,

As if no artifice of fashion, business, politics, had ever been,

Forth from its sunny nook of shelter'd grass--innocent, golden, calm as the dawn,

The spring's first dandelion shows its trustful face.

Source: "Leaves of Grass," by Walt Whitman

One day it feels like spring... the next day it's near freezing - complete with sleet and snow. Mother Nature is just reminding us that She is in control! It's mid-April and the flowers that bloomed in March have either been destroyed by extremes in temperature or have retreated. The winter clothes that I was ever so anxious to pack away have been pulled back out for a few more weeks. Guess Mother Nature wanted to just tempt us with those spring-like days a few weeks ago. But now She realizes She is not willing to kiss winter goodbye - not quite yet at least

But, I have no doubt that spring will soon be here in all of its glory! The robins are chirping and flitting all about. The squirrels scamper, chasing one another from tree to tree. Green seems to be the more predominant color even though there are still many trees that are brown and barren. And, the dandelions are starting to pop out of the ground everywhere I look! The other day, I noticed several of them along the road - some were ready for the wind to carry away the wishes made on soft tufts of white. Most, however were still bright, cheery and yellow. ( I spied the one in the picture above while out feeding the squirrels and birds this morning. )

Many a bouquet of the yellow blooms were picked and lovingly presented to Mom when I was young. Little did I know that they were weeds. And, Mom would never let on that she knew either. She'd smile and say "thankyou" while putting water in a small glass and placing the bouquet in plain view.

Many sunny and warm afternoons were spent lazing in the grass and pulling the stems topped with fluffy white down - just to make a wish and blow it away on the springtime breezes. As a child I never once wondered if those dreams would come true. I never considered where those dreams on downy fluff would land. And I certainly never realized that I was helping to plant more weeds! I believed that they were flowers equally beautiful as the roses and peonies that would bloom later in the season. I believed that wishes did come true and that all I had to do was wish hard enough, blow strong enough and wait ... and my dreams would be realized.

Perhaps the dandelion holds an important message for all of us. Perhaps one of its important roles is to teach us (the adult version of us) that even weeds have their beauty and their positive natures. Perhaps they were designed as a reminder that even weeds can be a welcome sign that spring is on its way and surely winter will pass.

Easter Snow!

For a week or so it has been gloriously spring-like! Warm gentle breezes. Moderate temperatures. And flowers blooming everywhere you look. But, Mother Nature can't let winter slide out the back door quite yet. And so, overnight last night, She left something in the grass -- not Easter eggs like the children of the neighborhood expected to find in the grass this morning (the annual Easter Egg Hunt was scheduled for bright and early today).

This isn't the first time that I've had snow for Easter. Probably won't be the last either. But that doesn't keep me from being amazed at how fickle Mother Nature can be sometimes. Two days ago, Caleb and I were playing golf in the warmth of a springtime afternoon. Today I am bundling up with scarf and gloves and arming myself with a snow scraper for the windshield. It's a wonderful and ever changing world!

Whether your Easter weekend finds you making snowballs, hunting for eggs or - as my granddaughter KelseyRose is doing down in Florida - going to the beach

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!

Crocs in Sevierville ??

A long holiday weekend with few to no detailed plans can prove to be a great thing - or a disappointment. It's all in how you approach each day, I suppose. Many weeks ago, I arranged to have a five day weekend over Easter. I thought that hubby -dearest would come up from Florida. But I thought wrong. "Too much to do" was the old, tired, familiar refrain.

I also thought that I'd be able to have Caleb for a few of those five days. He'd be on spring break and we'd be able to do a sleep-over at Nan's house and a few fun things. Right? Wrong!

He is on spring break. That is true. We cannot do a sleep-over at Nan's though. So, with not one but two huge disappointments to kick off my long weekend, I wondered "what's a gal to do with a five day weekend?"

Even though I wasn't able to have Caleb for any overnights (His dad and step-mom had plans for every single day that I was off and available - plans that included Caleb and that he reportedly couldn't miss) I did manage to arrange an afternoon with him. So, on Thursday I headed down the mountain highways - Smoky Mountain bound... The road from Kingsport to Sevierville is mostly ribbons of winding road cut through centuries-old mountain ranges. The scenery is beautiful any time of year. But it was especially delightful on this beautiful spring day. Trees in shades of pink and purple sprouted from crevices in the mountains. An amazing sight to behold indeed. Blue skies and puffy clouds seem bluer and higher when driving on these roads. And I find myself contemplating the fact that I can see for miles and miles - and that the mountain ranges go on for even more miles than that.

And so, shortly before lunchtime I arrived in Sevierville and picked up my "date" - a total prince of a guy. Charming in every way with a smile that can melt my heart in an instant and sparkling blue eyes that reflect the joy that is Caleb.

"What would you like to do?" I ask.

"Mmmmmm - go to TGIFriday's for lunch?" He asks more than tells - in the cute way only a six year old can do.

So, off to TGIFriday's we go. I already know what he'll order but he is quick to remind me that this is the place that has his favorite dessert - " A Cup of Dirt" - chocolate pudding with crumbled oreo cookies and gummy worms.

"M-m-m-m good, " he says -- and if he says so, then I guess it must be true!

It is such a glorious spring day that I want to find something to do outside after lunch. And Caleb knows just the perfect activity for a springtime date with Nan - "Let's go golfing, Nan!" he announces.

Now, wildlife in the mountains of Tennessee is unique but I don't believe that crocodiles are among the creatures that are indiginous to this area. But, along the main road of Sevierville/Pigeon Forge you can go crocodile hunting - in Crocodile Lagoon and along Crocodile Lake ... if you're inclined to enjoy an afternoon of hitting a colorful little ball with a stick.

Caleb loved every minute of the 18 holes of mini-golf. I loved every minute of my time with Caleb. Watching him delight in the small things brings such joy. His smile is contagious. His laughter fills my heart to overflowing. And his energy is never ending... it sparks me on despite the fact that I worked two fifteen hour days before today (NOT by choice, I can assure you!)

Along the mini-golf course, we were greeted by all nature of 'critters' -- not the mountain critters that I would expect to find here (you know - bears and mountain lions and such) Instead, the golf course is sunny and bright. It is decorated with huge shade trees, huts, and wild animals: elephants, giraffes, hippos and of course the crocodiles for which the lagoon and lake courses are named. The family who played ahead of us was nice enough to ask if they could snap a picture of us together (instead of me taking pictures of only Caleb). It warmed my heart more than the bright afternoon sun that they would do that. And, while I am not necessarily fond of having my picture taken, I realize that these days are fleeting -- Caleb is growing up so fast. My time with him is precious indeed. My time with him - no matter whether we are doing something special or nothing in particular - is all forever etched in my memory. On days when I long to be with him and cannot, I rely on those images to carry me through. But to have an occasional tangible image of us is a treat! For so much of his life, it was just Caleb and me --no one around to snap a picture of the two of us. The joy that this image of us on the silly crocodile brings me is huge! I treasure every opportunity to savor Caleb-time. And so, until I am allowed to have more Caleb-time on some future day off, I will look at Caleb and the Crocs and remember that, although it wasn't an overnight or a chunk of my five day weekend, the time he and I shared was special indeed.

Nature's Playground

I wanted to sleep in this morning. It's a rare treat to do that! But, I have some mischievous critters who live in my back yard who didn't think that sleeping in was an option. SQUIRRELS! There is a family of about six or seven of the little rodents who are so adorable that it is difficult to be upset with them.

Because the weather has been so nice and because I love fresh air (as opposed to air conditioning) I have had the windows open round the clock. Turning over early this morning, my sleepy self was aware that the sun had come up and that the birds were chirping. But I thought I could get another hour of sleep...

And I did manage to drift back to sleep but not for long! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

"What on earth...?" I wondered.

CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

Again I wondered about the strange sound - an almost rhythmic sound - that was wafting in the window.

My curiosity got the better of me. Besides, I was now wide awake and all hopes of sleeping in this morning were gone. After setting the coffee pot to brew, I opened the sliders which look out onto the back yard only to discover that the clanking noise was the sound of squirrels enjoying a picnic in nature's playground.

Last fall I had placed a squirrel feeder on a distant tree and on another tree, I hung a cob holder. All winter long I have diligently kept the feeder and the cob holder well stocked. Now that spring is here, I continue to feed the squirrels so that they do not venture up to the porch and scare away the birds who find their dining pleasure near the back door.

(here's a picture of Caleb feeding the squirrels on a visit a few weeks ago)

Squirrels are solitary diners. Apparently they do not enjoy the company of others or squirrel-conversation while dining. But this family of squirrels manage to be playful and polite -- all the while being quite entertaining for me (and my kitties Callee and Maggie).

At first glance, there were no squirrels in sight... and the source of the clank was nowhere to be seen. But, after a few minutes of gazing out into the yard, slowly and deliberately the lid of the feeder opened and out popped the head of one of the squirrels. He leaned over the edge, the lower half of his body still in the feeder. With his little paws out over the edge he proceeded to remove the shell from a peanut and lean into his paws to pop it into his mouth. After a few quick chews he disappeared back into the feeder and the lid clanked shut.

(these squirrels are a bit camera shy so the pictures are taken through the slider screen and hence a bit grainy but if you look closely you can see him right there in the middle of the feeder with the lid resting on his head)

This went on for a few minutes. Then, in a playful game of "gotcha" two of the squirrel brothers decided that this one had had enough and it was their turn! One scurried up the tree and approached from the right side of the feeder while the other scrambled down the left side of the tree from a branch above. As the two headed directly toward the feeder, their hungry brother popped his head out of the feeder as he had done so many times before. But, upon seeing the other two, he bolted out and up the tree.

I watched him make his way out onto the tip of a long tree limb where he seemed to blow in the breeze right along with the wispy branches. And then I turned my attention to the other two. One was no where to be found while the other decided that enough goodies had been tossed overboard that he could sit comfortably in the shade of the tree and feast without all of that clanking.

Sipping on coffee I found myself highly entertained by the shenanigans of the squirrel family and once again in awe of nature's ways.

Harbingers of Springtime in TN

It's beginning to really look and feel like springtime here in northeastern Tennessee. And what a delight it is to watch spring breeze into this area! Just as I watched the subtle changes from week to week as autumn graced the mountains, I am able to watch equally subtle changes that are the harbingers of springtime. And, just as in autumn, it seems as though suddenly, out of the clear blue, the changes take on a more impressive presence - they shout "Look at me!" No longer subtle, they demand my attention. They are undeniably beautiful, incredible works of art compliments of Mother Nature.

Two weeks ago I sat in my livingroom and watched snow flurries. Last Sunday I saw signs of spring but still much of the landscape was bare, brown, and lifeless in its appearance. This Sunday is quite different! All week long it has been gloriously warm and breezy. Temperatures are delightful. Humidity is absent. (What a delight after perpetual summer and the accompanying humidity of southwest Florida for so many years.)

As I left work each evening this past week I couldn't help but notice the fact that it no longer felt like winter.

And, as I headed out the door the next morning to go to work, I was greeted by the birds who have returned and are only too happy to offer up a morning song for all to hear.

No longer brown and bare, the landscape here in Kingsport is a potpourri of pastel colors. Spring is definitely alive and well in this part of the world!

The Reading Lists

After several weeks of silence, I finally returned to Blogger today. And I decided that my blog could use a little face lift ... I hope you like the new additions to the blog page. Check out the two new elements I've added: "Current Reads" is where you can see a list of the books I have read this month or am currently reading. "Recommended Reading List" is just what it says: a list of books that I have read and in many cases, re-read more than a few times. I highly recommend them to anyone who is looking for a "good read."

Curl up with a good book -- you'll be glad that you did! And, if you have any recommendations for me, I am always searching for more good reads!

The Perk They Could Never Promise

When travel nursing recruiters begin to recite the list of perks associated with traveling there is one they can't offer - it's one that is far more valuable than many of the standard perks. It's a perk that didn't factor into my initial decision to travel - or to do so in Tennessee for now. One of the best perks that I've been able to enjoy is being able to meet someone I've known for five years or more but have yet to see her face-t0-face - until February 17th.

Starting out in the pre-dawn hours so that I could arrive mid-morning, I was filled with anticipation of the visit. Heading out of Kingsport, I was in awe of the sunrise that was unfolding in front of me. So much so that I had to stop to capture it. It was, I decided, a glimpse at the beauty to come during the weekend I was about to share with Mary Jo.

As I neared the end of my four hour drive to Virginia, I was amazed to find that Mother Nature had duplicated a scene that I had seen far too many times in the past few years down in Hurricane Alley. The area had been hit with a powerful snow and ice storm just days before. As I drove along the Interstate, I noticed that trees and roadside cliffs had been spared any sign of damage on their southern facing sides. But the northern facing sides of the trees were clad in thick ice causing the trees to bend and in some cases snap under the weight. The once sturdy trees were now listing to one side - bent over from the impact of the wind and the weight of the ice. This image was the cold version of what the wind and salt water of hurricanes do to trees in its path.

With Valentine's Day ice still coating the fields and roadsides of the Interstate I felt as though I had truly entered a winter wonderland. Afterall, wasn't it only a blog post or two ago that I said I was waiting to experience 'real winter' here in Tennessee? Well... I found it first in Virginia and then in Tennessee upon my return. (The ride back was not a pleasant and sunny one; windy conditions and snow blowing sideways made for a much more difficult drive at the end of the visit)

Mary Jo and I have shared stories for several years now. We write our stories every month and post them to the Story Circle Network's Internet Chapter e-circle #5. There is even a story about this small weeping willow tree planted on Mary Jo's property. Fifty or sixty stories later, we felt as though we knew one another quite well... So well that upon arrival, we immediately struck up a conversation as if we'd talked just a few minutes ago. We spent the weekend telling new stories, elaborating on the stories we posted to the circle in the past, encouraging one another to "write that book" and reveling in the incredible comfort of being with someone who shares common threads in life.

The weekend visit was one to be savored for days and weeks to come. And that is just what I have been doing for a little over a week now. For much of that time, I have gazed at the photos I snapped and recalled the wonder of the visit and the artisitic footnotes of Mother Nature. But now, it is time to share the visit and the photos with my other readers... And go back to the challenge to "write that book" !

You CAN Go Home Again!

They say "you can't go home again" but what do "they" know? This past weekend proved that not only can I go home, but I can have fun doing so! The trick, I've discovered, is to know when to leave again.

I didn't recall any of the people my mother was sure I did remember! "Oh surely you remember so-&-so! They went to school with you" She must have said that - or something quite similar to that - a dozen times at least this weekend! And the truth of the matter is that I don't ... remember that is... No matter how hard I try.

But, what I did remember were places from my childhood days. The names and faces of people have faded from my memory long ago but some of the places are etched in my memory forever. Even as I drove into town on Friday evening I knew that I was "sort of lost but not really" -- I say that because I wasn't sure how to get from where I was to my parents' house (which is not the home I grew up in). But, I did know that I knew where I was. The intersections looked the same. The storefronts have changed ownership but I recognized them as being a 5-&-dime store or a bakery or the old post office... all places that live large in my memory.

Even though it is no longer an operational bakery, as I drove over the bridge beside the old red brick building, I could smell the essence of freshly baking bread. And more than that, without even closing my eyes, I could see a younger version of myself walking across that bridge with a younger version of my mother. You see, my Gramm lived above the old post office (also no longer operational) just around the corner from the bakery. I could have walked that route with my eyes closed even now, after all these years.

Driving down the main street of the town I called home as a child, I was amazed to see just how many places still look the same. Some are in various states of disrepair while others have taken on new personalities to fit their new owners. But there were more than a few that allowed me to take a mental stroll back in time. Childhood laughter and carefree days live along those sidewalks whose cracks boast the fact that they've been there a very long time. If only in the memory of those who, like me, return not often enough to still feel at home and yet often enough to always feel as if we have come home.

Nothing conjured up memories as much as the drive my parents and I took on Saturday afternoon. Driving into the New Cumberland Borough Park was a profoundly moving experience. If I closed my eyes tight enough perhaps we'd be driving in the old black Ford sedan instead of the sleek new Impala Daddy now drives. And, in closing my eyes, maybe I'd be joined there in the back seat by three other kids who each knew that the one next to them had crossed the imaginary lines that helped to create the seating pattern of four to a seat.

Daddy was going to just drive around the park to show me the improvements that have been made to the place. But, it only took one request from me and he parked the car and we got out.

Standing next to the old dam that I feared so terribly as a child, I was awestruck at the wonders of Mother Nature. As a child, I only saw the river and its dam as a place of foreboding and danger. As an adult, I saw a river partially frozen - intricate ice patterns occasionally broken up by narrow trickles of water.

In the quiet of the afternoon, I expected to hear the water's roar as it plunged over the side of the dam. But, instead, there was a delicate sound of falling water. At first I wasn't sure why the water seemed so much more gentle than it had as a child. Perhaps, I thought it was all in the perception of things. But, when I got to the dam's edge, I realized why the sound was not nearly as powerful as I had remembered: Three quarters of the dam was covered in a thick blanket of ice -- gallons and gallons of water that had attempted to come rushing over the falls had, instead, become frozen in time. At the far opposite end of the dam there was a small portion of the river that still flowed over the dam and out into the larger Susquehanna River. But there in the Borough Park, most of the dam offered me an exquisite site - one too beautiful for words (too beautiful and impressive for pictures. But I did find it necessary to try to capture the image).

As I stood by that dam and its frozen waterfall, I realized that I could, indeed go home again...I could have some new experiences. I could relive some childhood memories. I could bask in the warmth of family love. And I could find new fodder for my writing -- new from the old... new from the amazing influence 'place' has on us.

Yes, I can go home again. But, I also can leave with a renewed appreciation for what once was, what is and what can be - both in my hometown and in my writings from the heart.

Finding Warmth

This past weekend was to have been a weekend shared with my sweet Caleb...
But, alas, this was not to happen. I had a message waiting for me on Thursday - his step-mom called to say that he was being kept home because he hadn't behaved well during the week. To say that I was disappointed would be a huge understatement. To admit that I spent hours crying about the lost opportunity and sobbing about the aching hole in my heart that is Caleb's absence from my life these days... well, that would be more like it.

Not sure what to do with a three day weekend that had succombed to that age old "best laid plans" theory, Friday morning found me just as melancholy as I had been on Thursday evening. Feeling more than a little out of sorts about the whole thing, it was difficult for me to see past this change in plans. But, bless her heart, my daughter Mandy had just the right solution to my now empty three day weekend.

By 10:30 a.m. I found myself on I-81 heading north - North to Pennsylvania. North to visit my parents, sister and sister's family. I had been meaning to get around to doing just that for some time now. Mandy knew that. "Mom, why don't you just do it!" she suggested, sounding very much like a Nike commercial. And so, "do it" I did! And I am so very glad!

The drive from here to there is a full 8 hours of driving but it is all on I-81 so it is not a difficult trip. Just a lonely one to make all by one's self. But, I did it. The queen of planning ahead did something impromptu! A rather big impromptu undertaking!

In Pennsylvania, I found winter - the kind of winter that I am still awaiting here in Tennessee. Snow and ice on sidewalk edges. Grass peeking through the bits of white on the ground. Stingingly cold days and howling winds at night... But, amid all of the cold that is winter, I found warmth like none I'd experienced in a long time... the warmth of family.

It had been about 10 months since I last saw my parents and two years since Lisa and I were together last. Her very active five children were very excited to visit with Aunt Lee. Aunt Lee was very excited to visit with them too!

Without my knowing it, Lisa called my oldest brother, Thom (three years younger than I) and invited him to drive up from New Jersey while I was there. He was only too willing to oblige. It had been, afterall, 23 years since he and I had seen one another!! We've talked on the phone and visited with the help of e-mails but to actually SEE one another, it had been a very long time -- too long.

The time spent with Thom, Lisa and her family, and my parents was probably one of the best weekends I have had in quite some time. Conversation around a kitchen table never felt so welcomed ... so warm. Hugs never felt so sincere between us. The gift of family is indeed a precious one. In my family's home, I found warmth in winter -- enough warmth to carry me back to Tennessee with less of a heart ache for the lost time with Caleb and much joy for time spent with others in my family.



Mom, Daddy and Me (in the middle)
02-11-2007
Camp Hill, Pennsylvania

Music in Black & White

When I moved from Florida, I swore I'd never leave my music behind. But in the end, I had to leave my sound system and the hundreds of CD's that shuffled their way through my life on a daily basis. We just ran out of room in the car...it was take the sound system or take the cats... Guess I don't need to tell you which won, do I?

I thought I'd be okay without it. I had a handful of CD's in the car and a small alarm clock with a CD player on it. But, it just wasn't the same as hitting the "ON" button and having a day of endless music. Tim and Mandy both offered to pack up the system and the CD's but I was afraid they'd be broken or lost in transit so I declined. (All the while pining away for "my music")

Since moving here in September, Tim has only been up to visit a couple of times. He was here shortly before Thanksgiving and then again in January. Christmas came and went with not so much as a card let alone a gift - but that has been par for the course from him in the past few years so I was not surprised... Alright, I admit I was more than a little disappointed.

But, little did I know that he was bringing a surprise with him on the January visit. That said, I'll bet you think the surprise was my sound system and CD's, don't you? Wrong! He flew this time so there was no way he could bring all that.

Not in the door more than five minutes and hurrying to open his suitcase, Tim announced he had something he wanted me to see. I never dreamed it would be a gift of any sort - and especially one that would bring such joy! Handing me a small black box and a smaller white box, he stood back and watched.

I opened the black box first and had absolutely no clue what it was... I could tell this tickled him to no end. He had me guessing and he loved every minute of it. After opening the smaller white box, I recognized it and concluded that the black box must have something to do with the contents of the white box.

He had given me the gift of music - one that I could make "mine all mine" just as those CD's in the shuffler at the condo in Naples were. The small white box held an iPod (not that I had ever given one more than a passing glance). The black box was, in fact, a sound system for the iPod should one want to play it indoors. Should one want to play it indoors? Of course one (well, THIS ONE) wants to play it indoors!

And so, after more than four months without 'my music' I am finally able to enjoy it once again. Using the iPod gift card that was tucked in the black box, I have loaded many selections onto this amazing little gizmo that packs a wallop of a stereo sound. My days and nights are filled with 'my music' - the music that relaxes me, the music that stirs my creative energies, the music that makes home sound like home...the music that serenades me as I write this...


.......... Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
~ Berthold Auerbach

Mandatory Overtime ?

I really am still here although the lack of recent posts might lead one to believe otherwise. I cannot believe that the holidays have gone and the first month of 2007 is history and I didn't get one single post up on the blog. And why no posts? The short answer is WORK!

Ah, yes, I know what you're thinking... "But she took this job to have more time to play/create/take care of herself and less time for work!" You'd be absolutely correct if you thought that. Somewhere between December 14th's post and last week, the bottom fell out of that safety net. Mandatory imposed overtime to the tune of 50-60 hrs per week instead of the contracted 36 per week can be a real creativity killer! It doesn't do much for the soul either.

But, now that the February schedule is in place there is no more overtime - mandatory or otherwise. There was never supposed to be in the first place. I am, afterall, not the hospital's employee but rather an employee of the travel agency who signed a contract with the hospital. The staffing issues at the hospital are not going to go away - whether I work extra or not... But, my own energies and creative desires certainly took a holiday while I was working unreasonable schedules.

So, now you all are wondering what's going on in my life... maybe...

First and foremost, I am still in Tennessee. The second 13 week contract is at the halfway mark. We know (my recruiter and I) that there is no way I am staying here any longer. And we have been trying to find a possible 'good fit' for me in Arizona... they have plenty of jobs in Arizona but not necessarily in the place that I want to be (doesn't that have a familiar ring to it?) The goal is to get as close to a little place called Green Valley as possible. That is where my dear friend and sister of the soul, AnnMarie lives and SHE is the reason I am wanting to go to Arizona in the first place. The closest city to Green Valley is Tucson. Right now, there are no openings in Tucson and the closest my recruiter can get me is 90-some miles from there.

I know all about those 90-some miles for that is the same distance I am from Caleb. It doesn't seem impossible but it isn't necessarily ideal either. I know from experience that if the work schedule gets difficult, the thought of three hours of drive time to spend a couple of hours visiting becomes more than I care to deal with. So, for now, I am keeping my eyes on Tucson and its surrounding area and hoping that my recruiter will have the perfect job for me there!

The overtime put some real kinks in time with Caleb. That is the biggest sore spot about the whole mandatory overtime fiasco. I have seen him a few times but not for the blocks of time I had hoped over the holidays, etc. Before you go getting too concerned, he and I did get to spend three wonderful days together the week before Christmas - at which time we celebrated our Christmas since I was slated to work both the Christmas Eve & Day as well as the New Year's Eve and Day shifts. And we've had some great "dates"! We would go out to a matinee and lunch or do something fun together and then I'd turn around and drive back so that I could be at work the next day.

With a "normal" work schedule in place, (does anyone really know the meaning of the word 'normal'?) I am beginning to find time and energy to do some writing and altered book art. And I have plans to pick up Caleb when he gets home from school on Friday! We are not going on a date! We are coming back to my place for the whole weekend! I can't wait!

I am still relishing the fact that I am living someplace other than the land of perpetual summer. Contrary to what my family thought, I am not freezing my **** off! And I am not hibernating! Instead, I am living each day in awe of the way Mother Nature moves with unassuming grace here in these mountains. And I am STILL waiting for it to snow!!